Tag Archives: goals

What do you think?

When you look back at all the successful people in the history of fitness/training you see a lot of different ways to reach the top.
 
That being said, a lot of people will fall back on the classic of – you need to find what works for you.
 
While this is 100% true, when it’s the first thing a trainer/coach says it’s usually a copout and protects them from creating a poor program that fails you.
 
You see success leaves clues.
 
As such there will be systems that have been proven to work for not just one person, rather millions.
 
Now the nuance will indeed be largely individual, yet are you so narcissistic to think that there are not other people in the realms of training that would end up with a program that is almost a mirror match of yours?
 
Don’t be silly, of course there will be.
 
It’s another reason people train together and get similar results, because they’ve found something that works.
 
In full candour though, that doesn’t mean that it’s the 100% best program for each person, of that I have no issue saying yet that won’t stop the fact that the program still works.
 
In my experience I feel we put far too much stock in making everything super individualised when most people don’t have a need for it.
 
After all, if you’re bodies optimal program is that surrounding marathon training (because that’s what’s best for you genetically) and you want to be a powerlifter well then there will be a problem as you’ll need to train like a PL.
 
I’m sure you can see the dichotomy.
 
All that being said, I’m curious to have some feedback form y’all.
 
What has worked best for you?
 
More importantly, why did you stop doing it?
 
Since working with a lot of people there are 5 core staples that regardless of the person yield results for increasing various elements of fitness.
 
1 – Treating the Body as One Unit
2 – Sprinting (intervals)
3 – Mobility/Dynamic Stretching Flows
4 – Optimal Nutrition
5 – More Rest
 
These are nothing earth shattering.
 
In fact a program from me would be rather basic and boring to many, yet it will work so long as you do.
 
As people get older in regards to training age they are exposed to more nuance because they’ve earned it, for example, if you’re so weak that you can Deadlift 2xBW, Press BW and hit 5-10 pull ups then you’ve got no need for blocks of myotatic-reps, Japanese drop sets or French Contrast Training because you’re not strong enough to gain any benefit from them yet.
 
People are in a rush to do things that look cool.
 
By all means you’re welcome to crack on and do as you feel is best, just give some deep consideration to getting the basics locked down first.
 
Share your thoughts below because I’m genuinely curious to hear them and understand why you think/feel as you do.
 
Enjoy,
Ross

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Corona Cardio

Excessive CV work has been very much the go to for a lot of people in this time of lockdown.
 
Most have been taking it up for one or several of these reasons:
 
– Wanting to get out of the house
– An effort to fight gaining excess fat
– Maintaining current fitness/conditioning levels
– It’s all they know now to do
 
While cardio is important, there are some nasty little pitfalls you really need to know.
 
1 – Accumulated Fatigue
 
It’s easy to run just a couple more miles, or cycle and extra 5k, or even going for multiple runs or adventures everyday.
 
This fatigue will build and its effects will sneak up on you.
 
You pace will drop (so will energy expenditure), lean body mass decreases, fat may even begin to be stored and the answer most people go to – MORE CARDIO IS NEEDED!
 
No, you need to recovery and rotate your training, perhaps like this example week:
 
Day 1 – Sprints
Day 2 – Movement & Mobility Work
Day 3 – Long Run
Day 4 – Off
Day 5 – Trail Run (think obstacle course)
Day 6 – Movement & Mobility Work
Day 7 – Off
 
2 – Efficiency
 
When you become more efficient at something you expend less energy, so while your skill/ability has progressed everything else will slow (fat loss, fitness, etc).
 
It’s why setting down a progressive plan is essential, as opposed to running the same route time and again with the only goal of doing it a little faster because there will come a point of diminished or no return on your tie investment.
 
3 – Hunger
 
A lot of cardio makes you hungry.
 
This means that you may in fact eat and extra several hundred calories more than you would have without the excess CV work or if you’d done some intervals of lifted (anaerobic training as opposed to aerobic).
 
You’re often hungry due to the electrolyte loss, so salty foods would help as would some good clear water too.
 
4 – Overestimation of Calories Burned
 
It’s not uncommon for people to overestimate how many they’ve torched and underestimate how many they will then go on to consume.
 
Most devices to track calories are inaccurate.
 
You’ll also find that looking at your watch to see you’ve burned 500 calories and then justifying that glass of wine is a terrible idea because those 500 burned calories in reality is more like 200 burned because you’d have utilised 300cals just being alive for the period of time you trained.
 
This is the biggest mistake people make, they think they’ve knocked of an extra 500 total, and sadly this is rarely if ever the case.
 
5 – RSI
 
Poor mechanics in any cardio endeavour will invariably lead to repetitive strain and injury, meaning you can’t train.
 
Of course most will power on through and ‘tough it out’, which is silly if this it’s nothing more than a hobby.
 
6 – Addiction
 
Like all things you can easily get addicted, and this actually links to number 5 just above, the runners high (release of various hormones & opioid like chemicals in you body) has a dulling effect on the pain you’re in or have caused yourself.
 
People will begin to chase this feeling, causing more and more damage, until eventually there is a very big problem that may be irreversible.
 
There are far better ways to hold onto your level of conditioning and stave off gaining excess fat, while this doesn’t mean you take CV out of your training, just don’t do it in excess.
 
An ideal 4 day cycle would be as follows:
 
Day 1 – Strength
Day 2 – Conditioning
Day 3 – Movement & Mobility & Restoration
Day 4 – Off
 
You repeat the above to your hearts content and you’ll find you gain far more results than you have before because instead of simply doing ‘more’ you’re now doing ‘better’.
 
Give it some thought.
 
Enjoy,
Ross

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McFly wasn’t the only one lacking it…

There is something that all those who give up have in common. 

They lack discipline.

When training is no longer fun, the initial wave of motivation has worn off and they realise their trainer was entertaining them instead of actually training them it can leave many deflated.

Sadly there can be no lessons without a cost. 

Well, unless you heed the words above in which case you’ll save a lot of money and wasted time. 

The shine of training wears off in anywhere from 1-3 years.

Believe it or not this isn’t hyperbole, it’s the truth. 

As such you need to create the habit of discipline.

Like anything it’s a skill and need practice to master. 

Stephen king used to set aside 4 hours to write according to a little book I read based on how he writes. 

Initially this wasn’t his natural ‘flow’ time because such a thing doesn’t just happen on a whim, it’s created. 

There was conscious sacrifice and the reward was skill. 

You see success is about how much you’re willing to give (of yourself) and what you’re willing to give away (creature comforts). 

There is always a price to pay, the question is a can you afford it?

Rather can you afford not to pay it if you truly want to become something more than you currently are, that is the real question here. 

How many times have you given up on something, not because of any cosmic catastrophe or unforeseen circumstance, just because you gave in to the weight of it?

^^ Give this some thought. 

You don’t have to want anything in life, yet if you do then you’ll find having an iron clad discipline will come in handy. 

Enjoy, 

Ross 

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9 Magical Methods to Physical Progress in 2020

Only kidding, these aren’t magical.
 
They will work though provided you put in the effort and stop making excuses like you have every year since you found out that excuses kept you safe.
 
Harsh as it sounds people fail all the time.
 
Mostly due to their own ineptitude and lack of willing.
 
You see if you need a reason to do something you’ll find it, regardless of how monumental the task you will find the exact means you need to justify the end.
 
Keeping this in mind here are your 9 Magical Methods 💪
 
1 – Public Shame
 
Make your intentions loud & clear for all to hear.
 
You’d also find that a very public penalty or forfeit may keep your head in the game, something like you will buy all your best friends clothing for an entire year.
 
^ Have this written up in a contract that is legally binding, honestly don’t fuck about, actually have a price to pay if you fail because talk of punishment is cheap, make it a real possibility.
 
2 – Hire a Professional
 
Pay someone to get you to your goal, and pay someone that is expensive, literally at the top end of the price scale.
 
So much so that it requires you to sacrifice various creature comforts and habits to pay for their services, make your sacrifice mean something so that if you fail you’ll know you’ve let yourself down.
 
3 – Ask children for their opinions
 
Yep, kids are the best critics because they tell the truth.
 
If you’re fat a child will tell you, same goes for being ugly, having bad hygiene or sucking at sport.
 
These unforgiving little buggers are the ones you want to listen to, not people your own age because chances they’re also in a sad state as well and will tell you what you want to hear, not what you need to hear.
 
4 – Get Upset/Offended
 
Yep, listen to all the things that evoke strong emotions and make you feel uncomfortable because you will always move away from pain.
 
Being fitness related of course, if people are talking lumps out of your character for no reason then high 5 them with a metal chair.
 
5 – Stop acting like a child
 
This means preparing meals from scratch, taking responsibility for yourself and admitting that it’s no one else fault except your own.
 
You’re not in control of everything in your life, yet one aspect you can take charge in is your physical state, so do it.
 
6 – Get new friends
 
Your old fiends are holding you back because you’re ‘one of them’.
 
Look at the 5 people closest to you, if they’re all carrying execs body fat, unhealthy, excuse making machine then chances are you will be as well.
 
Find people that make you better not hold you back.
 
7 – Remove all food temptations from your home
 
Secret eating is common.
 
I knew a chap who would always talk about how clean he was eating yet still held quite the impressive amount of belly fat.
 
Despite his bluster his partner found all his empty chocolate bar wrappers kidding down the side of the bed and made everyone aware in a hilarious social media shaming.
 
Don’t be the person that lies because you only hurt yourself in the long run by doing so.
 
If you genuinely struggle and need help them please ask for it.
 
8 – Find people to help
 
As mentioned above, asking for help is crucial in success.
 
It’s not weak, it’s not bad, it’s a bloody good idea.
 
Finding a group of people that will help pull you up to higher standards is the way forwards, it will be tough, you’ll mentally feel like the worst person in the room because you probably are.
 
Even if faced with this fact don’t crump like a wet richmond biscuit in tetley tea, you’re worth so much more than that.
 
Have the same level of faith in yourself that some of us have in you and take the leap, don’t wait and think, just take it.
 
9 – Listen to people that have been where you are
 
You’re not along you know.
 
A lot of people struggle mentally because of their physical state.
 
It is very much my belief that we live in a superficial world, and deep down I feel you know this too.
 
As such people need to find a place they’re physically happy before they can make any real progress mentally, this is also confirmed by the science too, physically healthier people suffer less mental strife (better balance hormones, neurotransmitters, etc).
 
Find people to talk to that have made the journey already.
 
Listen to their story, hear their struggle, how they got through it and what it meant to them in the end.
 
You see it’s not being a physical specimen that we truly desire, it’s what comes after that, this is the real goal.
 
Self confidence & knowing we’re okay.
 
^ That’s what people want.
 
None of the above is magical, it is however all relevant.
 
You should investigate this thoroughly.
 
Enjoy,
Ross

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Arbitrary Goals for 2020

Lacking direction for gym related targets?
 
Here are some to consider hitting if you’d like the fleeting respect of people you’ll never see again mias social media.
 
Barbell Curl 0.50xBW x20reps
Press – 0.75xBW x20reps
Pull Up – Bw x20reps
Bench Press – BW x20reps
Squat – 1.5xBW x20reps
Deadlift – 2xBW x20reps
 
Why 20?
 
Why are barbell curls in there, surely there are better movements to do?
 
My answer is as follows:
 
Because why not 😂
 
These are simply arbitrary goals that will yield a decent benefit to many people.
 
The loads are not astronomical, in fact all of the above are pretty reasonable unless you’re very weak.
 
If you are very weak then they’re the ideal goals for you because they will rid you of said weakness.
 
How you program to achieve these is up to you.
 
My suggestion is to train 3 days per week with a different focus lift on each day.
 
Monday – Day 1 – Deadlift & Curl
Wednesday – Day 2 – Bench Press & Pull Up
Saturday – Day 3 – Press & Squat
 
Being able to hit all the above for 1 solid set of 20 will be quite satisfying, if you wish to extend this goal for a little more bang for your buck try to achieve 2 working sets of 20 at the target weights.
 
When you can do that you’ll have built a good foundation of strength and potentially muscle as well (provided your nutrition supports it).
 
For accessory work pick 2-3 movements for your posterior chain, things like Loaded Carries, Reverse Hypers, Good Mornings, Reverse Flies & Tricep/Calf/Grip work are all good, 2-3×10-15 for these work well.
 
For the 20rep goal, establish the end goal loads.
 
Once you know these you work backwards to sensible starting weights (perhaps 50% of the end weight).
 
Here is an example based on my on BW rounded up for easy maths:
 
Barbell Curl 0.50xBW = 40kg /2 = 20kg start
Press – 0.75xBW x20reps = 60kg /2 = 30kg start
Pull Up – Bw x20reps = 80kg* /2 = 40kg
Bench Press – BW x20reps 80kg /2 = 40kg start
Squat – 1.5xBW x20reps 120kg /2 = 60kg start
Deadlift – 2xBW x20reps 160kg /2 = 80kg start
 
*For the pull up you’d use band if required, or personally I’d just start off doing lower reps and building on them until I hit 20 unbroken.
 
All decent starting loads that are very achievable.
 
Warm up set wise you won’t need much, perhaps 1-2×20, then crack on with the work.
 
For the working sets you’ll be having that set to 1 for the time being, aim to add load each session you successfully hit 20reps in your woking set.
 
E.G – Press – 0.75xBW x20reps = 60kg /2 = 30kg start
30kg x20 = +2.5kg
32.5 x20= +3.5kg
35kg x13 = stay at this load and aim to get 1-2 more reps and repeat until you hit 20.
 
Make sense?
 
Once you hit the end weight goals add in a second working set at that weight, if you hit the reps first try then it’s time to set a new goal, if not work on that until you hit 2×20 – working sets.
 
May your 2020 be filled with progress & success.
 
Enjoy,
Ross

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2020 vs 2019

You suffer because you make bad choices.
 
Typically when shit hits the fan we can trace things back to that exact moment it all began, which is usually of our own doing.
 
As Christmas day approaches many are gearing up for a feast.
 
Gluttony will rule the day.
 
Don’t get me wrong, eat, drink, be merry, just be mindful as well.
 
It’s not uncommon that over the month of December 2019 to perhaps even mid Jan 2020 (when most people go back to work) the ‘rules’ go out of the window.
 
This can lead to people gaining up to 2 stone in weight, most of which is usually fat, not good.
 
It’s oaky though because in the new year they will become later focused and mike next year their bitch.
 
😂😂😂
 
Um, yea, no, no you won’t because you said that about 2019 and found every excuse imaginable to maintain the string of successive failures that have been accumulated over the last decade or more.
 
I guess at least in that way people are consistent.
 
It’s why new years resolutions are bullshit for the most part.
 
If someone truly wanted changed they’d already be well anther way to making it happen, as opposed to talking about it, making all the grandiose plans and then royally ballsing it ups within the first three weeks of the new year.
 
People just don’t want change, and that’s okay.
 
What gets me is who everyone talks about it, pats each other on the back and indulges one another bullshit.
 
Just stop it.
 
Please.
 
You know as well as I do that you’ll do nothing, simply because you don’t really want to and with the modern narrative of body positivity, accepting every flaw in a person (so long as it fits the social, economical, political narratives of the day) and generally pretending everything is great we are encouraged to do so.
 
True you don’t need to change, yet you should want to.
 
What is the sense in remaining as we are when there is so much to gain in experience, enjoyment and a sense of purpose/achievement from making the conscious choice to become more than what we are?
 
I don’t know, maybe it’s just me.
 
After stagnating for so long, making all the excuses and avoiding the future I’ve finally become too tired to entertain my own bullshit anymore, much less anyone else’s.
 
Take a look back at all the NYR that you’ve not hit.
 
Now ask yourself why you didn’t achieve them.
 
Finally make a choice, you want to change or you don’t.
 
Simple really.
 
Don’t get suckered in by enjoying failure and what is brings (sympathy, people being nice, an excuse to be weak), choose change, choose to struggle to succeed and embrace all the negative shit that comes with it.
 
In the end it will be worth far more to you than you realise.
 
Enjoy,
Ross

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Desire, Inclusivity & More

One thing that people universally desire from any for of exercise is a result.
 
Now what this result is can differ, however there is still one that is sought after.
 
Believe it or not this is why people actually start training.
 
What keeps people training is them actually achieving the result, not just enjoying the training.
 
In my experience people always seems o enjoy their training more when they feel it’s working, doubly so when it actually works, funny that.
 
If you are honest with yourself how much would you really enjoy something that isn’t giving you any real benefit or providing you a satisfactory feeling/result?
 
Not long I’m willing to bet.
 
I don’t say this on a whim either.
 
I say it because it’s true and working with hundreds of people of the years has only proven this, despite what conventional wisdom and popular opinion may say.
 
When you’re getting nothing from something you won’t do it for long, and even if you enjoyed it at the start that won’t last.
 
One of the biggest reasons we do anything is because we want something.
 
The modern attitude will say this is selfish and should be shamed, yet is there really anything so wrong with wanting more or the best for yourself?
 
No, there isn’t.
 
(so long as you’re not hurting other people to achieve it)
 
These days we allow people to fail.
 
In fact we almost encourage it by saying things such as:
 
“You’re fine just as you are.”
“If you enjoy doing it then keep doing it.”
“Do what makes you happy.”
 
While on the outside they all seem like the right and good things to say, this isn’t always the case.
 
There are many situations where when people do what makes them happy the consequences are disastrous, same goes for not pushing people out of the comfort zone to grow and shed their shell so that they can gain a new one.
 
Personally I hold inclusivity in contempt for this.
 
You see in trying to include everyone there were two paths to take to achieve this.
 
1 – Bring them up to higher levels
2 – Lower the current levels to make it easier
 
Our modern world went for the latter and as a result it’s made a lot of people weak, both physically and mentally.
 
This isn’t good.
 
Why would you not want to bring people up?
 
Now there will be plenty of people who say this isn’t fair, it makes people feel bad and so on, which may indeed be the case, however life isn’t fair. Life has never been nor will ever be fair.
 
The easy and fair life is a pipe dream.
 
The sooner people realise that the better, and the more willing they are to accept that it’s okay to want to improve on what they have and strive for more the faster they’ll progress.
 
While it may be considered selfish to want more, that doesn’t mean it’s not a worthwhile thing to chase.
 
Thinking back to your own training over the years, what did you enjoy the most?
 
Now think about when you got the best results (or achieve a goal you really wanted), did you enjoy the training/process purely because of the training/process or was it worth it because of the reward at the end?
 
Share your thoughts below.
 
Enjoy,
Ross

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Frustrations

While chatting to a client last night the goal was to listen o their frustrations. 

The didn’t feel for the effort they put in (to all aspects of their life) that they were getting their just desserts.

“My training is consistent.”

“My nutrition has been varied and clarions tracked.”

“My work has improved in both productivity and efficiency.”

“My life couldn’t be at a better point, and yet I’m not where I want to be, it’s so frustrating! I just start to think things will never change and just don’t know what the point is in keeping it all up.”

“I know things take time, I just want some hint it’s going to be worth it.”

A truly heartfelt frustration.

Often the effort we put into a great many things doesn’t yield the results we’d perhaps desire.

While this might not be fair it just is what it is. 

I have friends who dislike that quote ‘it is what is is’, potentially because of it being the attitude of people who have become resigned to the deterministic philosophy due to their life experience in always knocking them down or the undeserving getting that which they feel should have been theirs. 

It’s an understandable annoyance, yet these are also the same people that won’t outwardly express what is it hey want, or vocalise what is perhaps needed to be said to the right people,  they often just sit and wait in the hope that they will get recognised just because they feel they should. 

Sadly in this life if you want something you have to not only want it, work for it, or go for it, you must also make it known you want it by asking for it. 

Fortune favours the bold or brave (depending now his quote you prefer). 

It’s quite true. You’d be surprised what you can actually get simply by asking for it. 

Anyway, back to the frustrated client above. 

I was quite honest in telling them I didn’t know why they where not where they wanted to be or showered with glories praise, from an emotional standpoint that is. 

From a training/empirical standpoint it’s been 3 weeks into their current training after they spent 5months being inconsistent and basically pissing about and making poor choices. 

Yes I did tell them that directly because pandering isn’t what they needed and the simple truth is that you won’t often see much change in 3weeks, maybe 3 months or 3 years, however not 3 weeks. If you had dramatic change in such a short space of time, like say losing 2 stone I’d advise you go to the the doctor as you may have a terminal illness, yet this is the result people feel they deserve.

This was what prompted me to re-ask “What result/expectations do you feel you should have by now and why?, No, really, why? Why do you have the expectations you do?”.

Now for something a little bigger to consider, especially if you’ve felt/feel this way…..

Why out of all the people on this planet do you feel your the only one with these frustrations?

Why are you so special that the process should be different or miraculous?

Is it because you know someone who knows someone or you say it on social media?

Very few things in this life happen by accident. They are often an accumulation of minor, or major choices we’ve made or didn’t make and eventually they all come to fruition and result in X, Y or Z,which may or may not be your desired outcome.

As with any endeavour, even those that are truly frustrating, you must just accept that they will take time and perhaps be a tad more realistic with your expectations.

Frustration affects us all, yet like a lot of things they’re fleeting and not worth dwelling on.

Take a look around you, see that most other people are in the same boat and enjoy the journey because it’s rarely the destination that makes it worth while, it’s often the experiences you pick up along the way. 

Enjoy, 

Ross

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Test Your Might

“If you’re not assessing you’re guessing.” – various strength coaches
 
You may have heard these words before, but now I’m going to show you what they really mean.
 
– Finding gaps/holes in people fitness
 
Beware though, this will leave a fair few in a potential state of dismay because they’ve over estimated their abilities and now feel stupid.
 
Well, men will feel stupid and then justify why and make up 1000 excuses.
 
Ladies on the other hand will hold themselves back, which makes them look equally as stupid as the gents who try to reenact feats from their teens.
 
The funny things with testing is that it’s not mean to upset.
 
It’s merely a set of objective test to help gain an understanding of a persons current level of fitness.
 
***Tests can vary based on the goal or discipline***
 
It’s also worth remembering that a test only gives a piece of the puzzle, this is where we have the need for ongoing assessment.
 
What tests/assessments you choose to do will vary base don the context in which they’re required for.
 
As such there are no ‘perfect’ tests.
 
Yet there are still some that yield some great insight in to what people might be lacking in a vernal strength/ability sense.
 
Here are three of my favourite ones that people can’t hide form.
 
1 – Pull Up 1/2/3/4
 
Grab a bar (any grip, however DOH is my preferred).
 
Hang for 30 seconds, do 1 pull up.
Hang for 30 seconds, do 2 pull ups.
Hang for 30 seconds, do 3 pull ups.
Hang for 30 seconds, do 4 pull ups.
 
Come down safely. The feeing in your hands will return shortly.
 
Completing all 10 reps means a person will have more than enough upper body strength to do pretty much everything, if they can’t hang for the first 30 seconds then the’ve got work to do.
 
*Advanced Variation – there isn’t one, this is tough enough 😂
 
2 – Deadlift Max
 
Perform single deadlifts (any variation with a straight bar is acceptable).
 
Increase weight until speed is lost, this is safer than going until form starts to lose its tightness.
 
Bw on the bar is okay.
1.5xBw is decent.
2xBw is more than enough for people to be awesome.
2.5xBw+ well, that’s just impressive.
 
*Advanced variation – how much can they pick up from the floor and put overhead in a strict press fashion.
 
**BW on the bar is where most men ideally want to be, ladies 3/4bw, if either exceeds this then applaud because it’s well deserved.
 
3 – Squat & Hold
 
Perform a full ROM squat (hip crease below knee line).
 
Sit here while maintaining good posture, this is a mobility test.
 
30seconds is minimum required for health.
60sec is decent.
2min is very impressive.
4min+ guess they’ve got no need for chairs any more.
 
*Advanced variation – Overhead Squat. Being able to perform this movement is a good standard for many people to aim for.
 
The tests above are nothing spectacular, they’re merely three tools I’ve used over the years that have always provided a good baseline understanding of a persons level.
 
If someone maxes out all of them their training will be most enjoyable to program.
 
When we see gaps in one or more of the above that means their training will be set up to address those first.
 
The above is also most optima for the AVERAGE PERSON.
 
Yep, an average Joe or Jane that can do well in all of these will often have solid posture/strength, good body composition and move well.
 
Several things many people desire.
 
If you are training an athlete or someone for a specific goal then you may have specific tests you need to utilise.
 
You should investigate this thoroughly.
 
Enjoy,
Ross

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Permission Required?

Are you still asking for permission to live?
 
This may seem like an odd question, however, you’d be amazed at how many people consistently seek approval, validation or for lack of a better word, permission, to do just about anything.
 
Relating this to fitness, as a coach you’ll hear the following:
 
– Is it okay to eat XYZ?
– Does this sound right?
– If I do X can I have Y?
 
There’s a lot more where these came from as well.
 
All of them relate to people seeking the nod of approval before doing something.
 
This has two big impacts on people.
 
1 – It shifts accountability away from them on to you.
2 – It allows procrastination.
 
Looking at point 1.
 
If someone asks you for permission regarding an action or food choice they’re putting their accountability back on you because if something goes wrong or doesn’t work they’ll come straight back with – “But you said….”.
 
^^ This is something you’ll find everywhere.
 
A person will blame any and everything else before looking in the mirror and realising the blame/fault lies with them (the majority of the time, there are exceptions).
 
In regards to point 2, it gives people an excuse for inaction.
 
You see it in the working environment.
 
Boss – “Why hasn’t XYZ been done?”
Worker – “Because you didn’t ask me to do it”
 
*facepalm.
 
Long gone are the days of initiative and it’s understandable why it’s because in the past when people have tried to take the initiative they may have been told off for doing so.
 
Often it stems from childhood as well.
 
A parent (often your Mother) will ask you to do something and if you do it’s never to their standards, to which they delightfully say – “I should have done it myself.” – Or something similar.
 
Same goes for you doing something off your own back.
 
You may get a “Well done, but I wouldn’t have done it like that.”.
 
All in all, chipping away at your confidence to do things for yourself, this relates to many aspects of life.
 
You’re damned if you do and you’re damned if you don’t.
 
Thus the constant need for permission is born for a sense of protection.
 
Understanding where it all stems from is the first step.
 
After this, you can make your own choices moving forward, or maybe you can’t, I guess that’s up to you to decide.
 
Give the above some thought.
 
Enjoy,
Ross

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