Tag Archives: goals
While chatting to a client last night the goal was to listen o their frustrations.
The didn’t feel for the effort they put in (to all aspects of their life) that they were getting their just desserts.
“My training is consistent.”
“My nutrition has been varied and clarions tracked.”
“My work has improved in both productivity and efficiency.”
“My life couldn’t be at a better point, and yet I’m not where I want to be, it’s so frustrating! I just start to think things will never change and just don’t know what the point is in keeping it all up.”
“I know things take time, I just want some hint it’s going to be worth it.”
A truly heartfelt frustration.
Often the effort we put into a great many things doesn’t yield the results we’d perhaps desire.
While this might not be fair it just is what it is.
I have friends who dislike that quote ‘it is what is is’, potentially because of it being the attitude of people who have become resigned to the deterministic philosophy due to their life experience in always knocking them down or the undeserving getting that which they feel should have been theirs.
It’s an understandable annoyance, yet these are also the same people that won’t outwardly express what is it hey want, or vocalise what is perhaps needed to be said to the right people, they often just sit and wait in the hope that they will get recognised just because they feel they should.
Sadly in this life if you want something you have to not only want it, work for it, or go for it, you must also make it known you want it by asking for it.
Fortune favours the bold or brave (depending now his quote you prefer).
It’s quite true. You’d be surprised what you can actually get simply by asking for it.
Anyway, back to the frustrated client above.
I was quite honest in telling them I didn’t know why they where not where they wanted to be or showered with glories praise, from an emotional standpoint that is.
From a training/empirical standpoint it’s been 3 weeks into their current training after they spent 5months being inconsistent and basically pissing about and making poor choices.
Yes I did tell them that directly because pandering isn’t what they needed and the simple truth is that you won’t often see much change in 3weeks, maybe 3 months or 3 years, however not 3 weeks. If you had dramatic change in such a short space of time, like say losing 2 stone I’d advise you go to the the doctor as you may have a terminal illness, yet this is the result people feel they deserve.
This was what prompted me to re-ask “What result/expectations do you feel you should have by now and why?, No, really, why? Why do you have the expectations you do?”.
Now for something a little bigger to consider, especially if you’ve felt/feel this way…..
Why out of all the people on this planet do you feel your the only one with these frustrations?
Why are you so special that the process should be different or miraculous?
Is it because you know someone who knows someone or you say it on social media?
Very few things in this life happen by accident. They are often an accumulation of minor, or major choices we’ve made or didn’t make and eventually they all come to fruition and result in X, Y or Z,which may or may not be your desired outcome.
As with any endeavour, even those that are truly frustrating, you must just accept that they will take time and perhaps be a tad more realistic with your expectations.
Frustration affects us all, yet like a lot of things they’re fleeting and not worth dwelling on.
Take a look around you, see that most other people are in the same boat and enjoy the journey because it’s rarely the destination that makes it worth while, it’s often the experiences you pick up along the way.
Are you in control of your emotions or are they in control of you?
Seems like a simple enough question to answer, it’s not.
You’d be surprised how many folk don’t really want to delve in to deep in to the emotional dregs that are weighing them down to find out which is the one causing all the other to pile up.
It’s surprisingly easy o know if someone is ruled by logic or feeling in a situation.
They either respond (logical) or they react (emotional).
Their tone of voice, pace, pitch, words spoken and often posture will give this away, not to mention some people faces just can’t lie.
Personally I’m like this, if something is utter tripe my face will let my fellow chatter companion know.
Another interesting bit of information about emotional reactions; it happens because it’s our egos way of protecting itself from death.
Yep, our ego fears its own death most.
Passional emotional reactions can usually end up linked to this, along with beliefs, values and occasionally a persons self proclaimed identity.
Don’t get me wrong, we need such things.
Without emotion we’d be no better than machines.
That being said, they can get in the way and control people for many years, a lifetime in some cases.
We link emotion to everything we do, literally
Once you can understand how and more importantly why then you will have a very powerful set of skills to help not only yourself but countless others as well.
Let us take food for example.
You will have a specific food that links to a specific emotion/feeling and when you’re not getting said emotion/feeling you will dive straight into the cupboard/fridge/freezer to pull out your crutch for that hit of instant gratification & feeling.
We subconsciously know this as well.
Why else do you think we ask people if they feel better after they’ve eaten?
We don’t ask them – “Are you nutritionally sustained from your meal?”.
No, we ask them how they feel and it they feel that they need any more or anything else.
Listening to the way people talk is an incredible skill.
Allowing each word to settle in your mind while also observing all the idiosyncrasies can really help you understand a person.
First though you must understand yourself.
“Because, if you can’t love yourself how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?Can I get an Amen?” – RuPaul
Give some though to the above, are you in control of your emotions or re they in control of you?