Tag Archives: mental health

Is it really your body you should hate?

Do you hate your body?

You shouldn’t, it does a lot for you.

A lot of people certainly do, yet there is something that many forget when they are steeped in their loathing.

It’s not your bodies fault it is the way it is.

Honestly, for the most part it does it’s best to keep going for you, despite the excessive amount of calories you force in to it via sub optimal food choices, calorically dense beverages, or even the sleep depriving activities you subject it too.

Regardless of what you do to it, it does it’s best.

So, let us say you have a few extra lbs, who’s to blame?

Is it your body because it’s out to get you and store as much excess body fat as possible so that you have a lower value in the overall dominance hierarchy, or is it because of ‘you’?

*’you’ being mental attitude, bad habits, lifestyle choices, essentially your consciousness, you mind as it were.

Our bodies are vessels, nothing more.

We are in control of them because nothing happens without some form of thought process first (for the most part, medical exceptions that affect mental/hormonal health/perceptions of reality or control excluded).

A lot of people find it easier to blame poor genetics, a bad hand that life dealt them, basically anything else other than themselves.

You’d be surprised how many people keep their ‘genetics’ int he fridge or wine rack.

It is in everyone to take control, all you need it to look inward and honestly think for yourself for a change.

“I think, therefore I am.”

Wow, this is getting quite deep 🤔

Don’t hate your body, appreciate it because what you see aesthetically is not a reflection of a ‘naughty/bad body’ it’s a reflection of YOUR mental state, of your mind, a reflection of what we might call ‘you’.

Your body is not to blame, you are, remember that, accept it and change it.

Change your attitude and you will change your life.

Give it some thought.
Ross

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Three Letters

I have something I’d like you to do.
 
Not for my benefit, for yours.
 
Write three letters.
 
All of them to yourself.
 
Your past self, your future self, your present self.
 
When writing the first letter to the past, tell them everything that has a happened, what went wrong and what went right and those all important lessons you wish you’d known back then yet would have promptly ignored if you did get taught them.
 
As we all know, our younger selves always know what’s best for them, until we get older and realise that is a far cry from the truth.
 
After you’ve written to the past, now you want to write a letter to your present from the future you.
 
In this letter take your time and look beyond what you can see or understand, while you might not have anything spring to mind immediately, hang in there, answer will come.
 
Write down what your future self would say about your current situations, addressing how what you feel may be a major problem now was actually not what you made it out to be. Your future self will tell you the larger perspective on the situation and see the behaviours that will lead to the most beneficial and hopefully, peaceful resolution to your conflicts.
 
They may even tell you about those risks you didn’t want to take, like asking that person out who you see every day, they may tell you you asked and they said yes, listen to your future self, they’ve been in the places you have yet to be.
 
A much older you will show you that things tend to work out in the end and how you can make it so.
 
The last letter will be from the you in the now to the you in the now.
 
In it speak about why you wrote what you did to the past you and what the words from the future you mean to you now.
 
Cover anything, everything, or nothing.
 
Express all your current fears, hopes and dreams, talk of current, past and perhaps future regret, hold nothing back because the only person to read this letter will be you, if there is a better time to be honest with yourself I know not of it.
 
You’ll feel much better once you do.
 
Doing this will help you start to see things as they are, not filled with anything other than appreciation of the fragility of it all.
 
Enjoy,
Ross
 
Stop reading here until you’ve written your own letters.
 
**************************************************
 
Here is what I learnt from the letters, you may learn the same, you may not.
 
Take a look for yourself, just don’t take these was yours, you have your own 🙂
 
The letter from the past taught Humility and that I wasn’t always right.
 
The letter from the future taught Faith and that even after all the shit hit the fan it always worked out in the end.
 
The last letter, arguably gave the most important lesson of all, it’s only me, everyday, as such I carry the burdens, the glory, it’s all on me.
The last letter taught me to see and accept responsibility.
 
Acceptance of all I was, all what I did, all what I may do, what I’m doing and how the only consistent factor in all this life is me and that it’s my responsibility to lead the life that I choose.
 
What goes well or not, it’s a result of my choices and mine alone, I am responsible, that’s it.

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Three important lessons you can learn from athletes & apply them to your life.

Morning all,
 
It’s fair to say we admire athletes.
 
Not simply for the way they can bring people together with their astonishing achievements or world record breaking efforts, it’s also because they’re humans, just like us.
 
They might be faster, stronger, more dedicated and generally better in every aspect, however they’re still human 😂
 
As such here are three things you can take away from them and apply to your life for the better.
 
1 – They do what they need to do regardless of how they feel.
 
Athletes don’t make excuses, not really, they just get on with the task as hand, unlike you.
 
Nothing stands in their way of achieving their goal, now before you start saying “I have a job, house etc etc”, did you know that until they make it BIG, so do they.
 
The difference is that they kept moving forwards, even when life problems cropped up, they still struggled on.
 
This is a lesson you’d do well to listen to and apply.
 
2 – They always have a plan.
 
Now this plan might not be of their of imagination, it might be something of a coaches/mentors design.
 
The point is this, the have one and as such also have answers for when the plan starts to fall apart or needs adapting.
 
Average people don’t have a plan, they try and wing it, unsuccessfully I might add.
 
If you can’t create a plan yourself, don’t stress, ask someone for help, get yourself a mentor/coach, in the long run it will be worth it, trust me.
 
If you want people to put their faith in you, you must also eb willing to put your faith in others.
 
3 – There is only the next mission.
 
Now I could have used the word goal, however goal is meek because everyone has a goal, several in fact, of which many go unachieved.
 
Athletes have a mission, one that is fuelled by a passion and drive that is above and beyond what many can comprehend.
 
They just do things because it’s just what they do.
 
It’s all they know.
 
Taking a page out of this book and developing your own indomitable spirit is something that would benefit you in a multitude of ways ranging from more conviction in your decisions to an unwavering resolve to stick with something, for better or worse.
 
If you take these simple lessons and apply even on to your life, you’ll be several steps ahead of a great many people, just have some faith in yourself and do it.
 
Bonus lesson – They know when enough is enough.
 
Now it would be great to think that we can overcome any limitation, any barrier, break any & all plateaus, however that is just not true, it’s a fools dream.
 
This also relates to being at the top too.
 
Even the worlds best athletes know they have limits that they will not exceed, this is where they have a large support network of coaches, mentors, friends and close family to help them see the perspectives that they might be blind to themselves.
 
Sometimes a dream might just not be in your grasp, however that doesn’t mean you give up entirely, you just accept that enough is enough and rather than giving up, you refocus and look towards the next mission.
 
You might be the one to do it all and change the world, even with such an achievement there will be a limit to how long you can stay their, int he end you will need to accept enough is enough and step down.
 
Just like a world champion that retires so the new blood can come through, they don’t disappear, they just change their place in the play and become the mentor/coach.
 
Giving up never did anyone any good, however neither did trying to achieve something that was never in their reach to begin with or holding on to a glory longer than they should.
 
Learn to accept what is, what isn’t and what will never be.
 
Smile at these things, embrace or let them go.
 
All glories must fade, enjoy them while you can and let go when you must.
 
Enjoy,
Ross

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Why choose health when you can choose sickness instead?

If 2017 didn’t go the way you’d hoped, don’t worry, 2018 won’t be that different.

We are creatures of habit, unfortunately.

Some may even call us lazy.

Think about it for a second, there are plenty of less than optimal things people willingly choose to continue doing each day (for what ever reason), things such as smoking, drinking, drugs, binge eating, crossing the road without looking, telling their significant other they’re wrong, the list of things people do that are hazardous to their heath just goes on and on, yet the repeat their patters everyday.

Do you repeat yours?

If you do, this shouldn’t be a cause for concern, is should just be acceptance that you have a choice to make and you’re making it.

Now except for truly extenuating circumstances, most of the things that happen to us are of consequence related to our choices, be those immediate or delayed.

Take eating terribly for example.

This is something people do willingly because the risk-reward is worthy it currently. Give it perhaps 10 years and they may find they’ve pilled on 5+ stone, this might be enough for some to decide that they’ve not made the best choices in life and start to implement small yet sustainable habit/lifestyle changes to lead a more fulfilling life.

On the other hand some will go the other way and fall in to the group that say “Sod it, no point in changing now.’. This may eventually result in a medical issue – heart problem, diabetes etc – however it’s something they’re willing to have happen and thankfully because of the great advancements in medical care it can be managed and their poor quality of life sustained.

Could you imagine if medical help was only give to those who lead a mostly optimal life in terms of their lifestyle habits?

What a change that would be.

Sweet treats would be just that, treats had on rare occasions, not a staple ‘food’ of daily life. Then there would  be the amount people smoke, geez that could even be a relic of a forgotten past.

Sadly though this will  never happen and as such is moot point at best.

That said, I want you to give it some thought. Think about what you’re doing to yourself, supposing that you were not born with or unfortunately become afflicted by a serious medical condition and had the ability to leads a healthy, active life and just thought you’d rather slop around, get fat, become increasingly more unhealthy and slowly destroy yourself one day at a time.

Okay, that is quite harsh, however it’s true for many people.

Over the years I’ve been lucky enough to work with people who through no choice of their own have had a very hard life, rife will illness, poor health and much more, yet they make the best choices they can to get the best out of their life and optimise what little healthy they have. Then there’s you, smashing 2 bottles of cola a day while finishing of a pac of 20 super-kings over a nice Dominos.

Remember you don’t have to change your life, you don’t have to value your health, you don’t even have to care what others think about you and how you live your life, what I would urge though is to think about those who didn’t get the healthy start you did and the fact that you’re choosing sickness over wellness.

Go on, think about it long and hard.

Many don’t value their heath until it’s gone, please don’t be one of them.

Ross

 

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Tough Love –

No programming jargon today.

It’s time for some tough love.

You ready?

Nobody cares as much as you think they care. Really, they don’t because how you look, how strong you are, how fast you are, how much you’ve achieved is just not that important to them. They only really care about themselves.

Have you ever been in the gym and felt that people were watching you?

The probability of this being true for longer than a few seconds is incredibly low.

Believe it or not they’re not judging how much you’re lifting, or how much excess fat you have, they’re there for the same reason as you – To shift some unwanted love handles, feel better physically/mentally & get shit done.

We’ve all been in a place where we think all eyes are on us.

It’s rarely the case.

Such thoughts will only serve to bind you in invisible chains.

Don’t misunderstand me though, I understand that for some people this ‘social anxiety’ is truly crippling and for them even stepping foot outside is a struggle and for those people I can only extend my hand and wait for them to take hold when ready.

As for everyone else, you probably don’t have social anxiety, you’re just a bit awkward, perhaps because you spend too much time on the internet and social media.

Did you know that excessive amounts of time on the inter-webs lead to increase chances of mental instability, body image issues, the inability to converse and much more.

Now before you gather the mob to hint me down you need to realise that most of the problems the majority of people face are self imposed.

F-E-A-R guides them.

When working with people (depending on their needs and genuine level of distress), I try to get some unnderstadnign what fear is:

False – Evidence – Appearing- Real

So in a gym situation – you walk in and you feel everyone is watching your every move from start to finish.

Initially people may indeed see who’s walked in, then they get back to their focus (what ever that is).

If you start lifting you may again have a few people watch initially, then they will get back to their of session.

The funny thing is one people start to let go of the fear that they’re always being judged, they become far less stressed.

*If you feel you’re always being judged this may stem from he fact that you yourself watch other people with an err of judgement in your eye – not gospel, however it is common as we can only base others potential behaviour off of our own learned ones.

I often speak of writing things down, you should try it.

Once you see on paper what your fears are they’re not quite as scary as you might think.

Try it. Write down you fear and the potential outcomes of that fear, then how likely those outcomes are.

You’ll soon find your worry is potentially unfounded 🙂

Letting go of our preconceived ideas, believes and thoughts is hard, however it’s worth it.

The hand is held out if you need it.

Enjoy
Ross

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The real reason you should write your goals down.

Most people know they should be writing down their goals.
 
Typically because of the following reasons:
 
– Accountability
– It’s a useful reminder
– This helps formulate an action plan
– The process allows for the overarching goal to be separated in to smaller more manageable chunks
 
What most people don’t know is the real reason it works os well.
 
If we write our goals down and achieve them, be that the main goal or the mini goals we set, each time we tick something off as achieved Dopamine is released.
 
What is it?
 
Dopamine is one of the neurotransmitters in your brain that affects your emotions, movements and your sensations of pleasure and pain.
 
This is often why people get addicted to things, it’s the dopamine release they experience, it keeps them coming back.
 
There you have it.
 
That’s the real reason you should write your goals down.
 
Enjoy,
Ross

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Three things you need to stop immediately.

If you do I can guarantee you will feel much better.
 
1 – Worrying about he number on the scales.
 
In fact throw them out, literally. They serve no purpose other than to keep you in a narrow mindset and hold you back, remember a low umber on the scale doesn’t mean happens or health (physically, mentally & emotionally) it can often mean the opposite, sadly.
 
2 – Stressing over what you think other people are thinking.
 
I have some news for you, you don’t know what is going through other peoples heads, no, really, you don’t, so stop stressing yourself out about it.
 
Chances are they’re not looking at you, it’s just something you’ve conditioned yourself in to thinking.
 
How do I know this? Talk about irony.
 
I used to do it and in fact I still do it from time to time, trust me, people are rarely thinking about what you think they’re thinking about.
 
3 – Changing for everyone else.
 
It’s human nature to want to please others, however it’s not something that should cause you internal strife.
 
A lot of people want to change, which is not necessarily a bad thing, however it’s the reasons they want to change that could be very questionable.
 
Changing for reasons other than your own is a sure way to failure because the changes may not be something you want.
 
Take for example fat loss. Good for health, potentially yes, good to do so that others accept you or you attract that certain special someone, no, 100% a terrible idea.
 
Social pressure is a massive influence on people these days and the more you try to fit in with the crowds externally, the worse you end up feeling internally, then you look back when you’re a little wiser and realise it wasn’t worth it.
 
Make changes for your own personal reasons and you’ll be far happier for it.
 
There you have it.
 
Three things to stop doing.
 
Will this happen immediately?
 
No, probably not, however the first step in changing a behaviour (if it’s what you want to do), it acknowledging it, then accepting it, once they are achieved you can start towards the pace you want to be in, physically, mentally and emotionally.
 
Enjoy,
Ross

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4 Movements you should be able to do.

Well you don’t have to be able to do these, however life will be much easier if you can.
 
1 – A full ROM overhead squat
2 – A full hinge
3 – A get up without the use of your hands
4 – A full ROM pull up
5 – A handstand – advanced
 
Why those 4?
 
In terms of general health you’ll find it’s these qualities people lose over time and as such their quality of life depreciates, however if you keep a good amount of strength in these movements you’ll find you age proof yourself throughout the years.
 
Let’s look at them all individually.
 
1 – A full ROM overhead squat.
 
Now this doesn’t have to be with maximal loads, it’s just a movement that will show your bodies potential limitations in ankles, hips & shoulders which are common because of daily life.
 
This skill can be linked to getting out of a chair or up from sitting on the floor. 
If you’re really strong you can do this on one leg too.
 
2 – A full hip hinge
 
This is in reference to a full hip flexion with minimal knee bend while not losing upper thoracic position, it will basically allow you to lift things correctly and minimise injury while firing up your hamstrings, glutes, erectors and musculature of the posterior chain.
 
It will also cross over in to picking something up and carrying it for a distance or time, a skill we NEED in everyday life.
 
3 – A get up without the use of your hands
 
If you’ve ever watched the difference between a elderly persona and a youth when it comes to getting up you will see the difference, however keeping the ability to get up without the use of your hands shows total body connection and strength which if kept in to old age can help keep you out of a retirement home.
 
The above being said, having the ability to perform a Turkish Get Up is also a great skill to have at any age.
 
4 – A full ROM pull up
 
Climbing is something we are meant to do. The ability to pull up your own body weight is an essential skill because it shows health & strength, plus if you’ve gotten in to your golden years and have slipped over and perhaps twisted your ankle the ability to grab something and lift yourself up will be most welcome.
 
5 – A handstand
 
Balancing on your hands was an old favourite in the days past and showed not only strength and total body connection along with wrist, elbow and shoulder health.
 
Inversion is a great skill as it requires concentration, bracing, controlled breathing and calm.
 
Now these movements are very useful for overall health and longevity, if you wish to specialise in a sport then you will have different needs which may go against the best interests of your health/longevity, this is the sacrifice you make.
Being able to move is also great for your mental health too.
 
If you want to work on these then you can either take up a movement class or perhaps some form of advanced yoga.
 
Being able to move is important, don’t lose it, the difference between a young body an old one is the ability to move.
 
Enjoy,
Ross

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Me, Myself & I – Ego Tripping 101

Morning All,
 
I hope you’re all well.
 
So, what to write about today, that isn’t recycled information with a slightly different wording or spin on it…..
 
As you may have guessed that is essentially what writing/social media videos etc is actually about in the world of fitness.
 
There is little that we don’t currently know that doesn’t involve the very complex biochemical reactions/mechanisms of the body that is. As for training and nutrition, it’s almost all been said before, so keeping this in mind I feel some reflection would be good.
 
As yourselves the following and answer them honestly:
 
– Where did you start?
– Where are you now?
– How has your ego held you back?
 
That last one will sting for some of you, but hey ho, ego is a fragile thing that leads us to do stupid things on a regular and repeated basis.
 
When it comes to the ego, it can govern us in secret and we never know. It is so sensitive that it feel threatened by almost everything that opposes it and the main fear it has is that of dying (metaphorically).
 
No one likes to admit they might be wrong, or to change a belief or value, even if it is a destructive one that holds them back, I can attest to this as mine has stopped me doing a great many things and because of this I’ve been able to learn what it feels like when mine starts acting up, which I will share with you in the hope you might be able to learn how to silence yours and avoid making the mistakes I have.
 
1. YOU HAVE BECOME VERY SELF-DESTRUCTIVE.
 
Essentially you know something doesn’t feel right yet you do it anyway.
 
2. YOU FEEL OVERLY SELF-CONSCIOUS AROUND OTHERS.
 
You seem there is alway an argument, judgement or someone to oppose your views coming.
 
3. YOU FIND YOURSELF COMPLAINING OFTEN.
 
Not getting your own way or people not fitting your bias will leave your ego screaming because it feels it’s in danger. You will actively seek out info you agree with, even if it’s wrong.
 
4. FIGHTS AND ARGUMENTS HAPPEN FREQUENTLY BETWEEN YOURSELF AND OTHERS.
 
As you can guess, you defend everything you say without questioning if it’s wrong, which it might intact be.
 
 
5. YOU JUDGE OTHERS HARSHLY.
 
Also known as projection, you place everything you don’t like about yourself subconsciously on others so that you don’t feel sacred around them.
 
6. YOU FIND IT HARD TO LISTEN TO OTHERS WITHOUT WANTING TO INTERRUPT.
 
“I know, but…” – this is the line that shows your ego is feeling threatened, if you go to say it stop yourself and listen first.
 
7. YOU SEEK REVENGE WHEN OTHERS HURT YOU.
 
Children and the immature seek revenge, the mature and the wise seek understanding and to learn from their experience. if you find yourself point scoring all the time it’s a sign ego is controlling you.
 
Take these simple insights as see which ones apply to you and for the love of all that is holy, think before you speak, trust me, it causes more problems than it’s worth when you engage your mouth before your brain.
 
Enjoy,
Ross

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