Tag Archives: self worth

Are you real?

Why do you try to be something you’re not?

As tempting as it is to play a role flawlessly, it’ll never be you and as a result you’ll always be on edge, anxious someone will find out and mercilessly unmask you for all to see. 

Leaving you broken and wallowing in an endless flood of shame. 

So here is my advice; stop pretending and defending that is the real you because it’s not. 

The fitness industry is rife with this. 

Online persona’s are very far removed from that of the one owned in reality, I’d even go as far as to say it may be the reason so many more people suffer from anxiety these days. The pressure of trying to live up to who they proclaim to be online is just too much, so these being anxious as an excuse not to go outside or be with people that might cause their house of cards to come crumbling down. 

Like it or not we can’t change who we are. 

This is not to say we can’t become a better person though, yet there still needs to be that acceptance of what the raw source material is. 

If you’re a piece of shit to the very core then that’s your lot in life, however you can concisely choose not to do shitty things to others. 

Perhaps you’re someone with a heart of gold who puts on a tough demeanour, stop it. You’re not going to win any prizes or acting like a tough person when that’s not you, yet you can learn some resilience.

Too many people talk of change, or being the best version of themselves and yet they ironically don’t even who they are. 

How can you hope to change that which you don’t understand or even know?

As a person we need to embrace everything we are and simply be content with just being. 

Once this hurdle is past us we can become more self aware.

The longer you hide behind who you say you are in the internet or pretend to be in real life, the longer you will suffer. 

Don’t do that to yourself.

Go take a long hard look at the image of the person you portray, is that really you or the you you wish you were.

Acknowledge the raw materials at the essence of your heart and soul because you can’t change those for anything else what is there is there, you’ve got what you’ve got, however you can refine them over time. 

Who know, perhaps that lump of coal if given enough time and the right pressure will oneway reveal itself to be something more, something that’s always been there, or maybe it won’t. 

Regardless, you’ve got to take the first step by taking a good long look inwards. 

You should investigate this thoroughly.

Enjoy,

Ross 

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A Habit for Every Mood

Habits are funny things.
 
Much like anything we have one for every mood or situation.
 
Some make us feel good, others motivate us and a few do nothing better than punish and stall of progress.
 
Over they years I’ve become more adept at finding out a persons reason why they have these little patterns.
 
Personally knowing has always been a priority.
 
It’s just my inherent personality trait, some call it being nosey and others say far worse, yet knowing has always been that insatiable lust of mine.
 
To not have considered every option, sacrilege.
 
It probably came form being an only child and spending countless hours alone quietly playing with the same few toys and each time comping up with a new story.
 
Of course without knowing more there was only so many situations I could pull from thin air because truly original ideas are few and far between.
 
Habits, much like knowledge, don’t just come thin air for the most part. You’ll find we either pick them up from watching others or then being suggested to us.
 
After all a habit was once a choice you consciously made.
 
Might not be what people want to hear however it’s the truth in the largest majority of situations.
 
In regards to your habits do you know which ones you have for which mood?
 
Take 5min to make a list.
 
What is your immediate reaction in the following:
 
– Happy
– Sad
– Angry
– Confused
– Tired
– Focused
 
The list can be longer and for any mood/emotion you can think of and I bet you will have a habit for each, be that to get you in to or out of the desired emotional state.
 
Once you know what habits are anchored to what emotions you can begin to understand why this is and start that lengthy and often painful process of letting go the ones which are detrimental and creating new more productive ones.
 
While this is simple it won’t be easy.
 
Growth never is though.
 
Enjoy,
Ross

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How many calories in a cinnamon latte?

Is tracking calories worth it?
 
A question many ask.
 
To be fair it’s such a minefield it is easily understandable why people suck at it.
 
From years in the trenches I can tell you that knowing all your numbers does have a place, however it’s not the be all end all, not really.
 
Keeping diaries is something I’m a fan of.
 
Not specifically for getting every calorie by the number, in fact it’s more for having people try to be more accountable.
 
It also allows me as a coach to see what is written down and then look at the person to see if things marry up.
 
If they don’t then we can sit down and have a chat about all the possibilities.
 
Long story short it is often that they are missing things out or just lying because they want to look like they’re being good and not let me down by admitting they are struggling or snacking.
 
Once we break this mental barrier they have real progress can be made.
 
You’d be surprised how many people are scared of letting others down, as such they will lie about who is really going on or ghost.
 
Some will say that they struggle with fitness and making change because they feel as if everyone is judging them, shaming them etc.
 
I have a notion for you to consider on this.
 
No one can make you feel ashamed of anything unless you yourself know what you’re doing is shameful.
 
That’s just how it works.
 
Take not shifting excess fat for example.
 
The common reason; the person is in a positive energy balance (or maintenance), fact.
 
Putting all the other reasons to one side, this is the crux of it all, once people admit this to themselves real progress can be made as to why this is the case.
 
Just because it’s the reason things are not moving that doesn’t mean it’s the why behind it all.
 
The why could be emotional, habitual or a whole host of other reasons, and once all the bullshit is stripped away we can start finding out and really making progress.
 
Opening up for many is hard though.
 
No one wants to feel vulnerable.
 
We need to address this before we can really move forwards, you owe it to yourself to be happy, really, you do.
 
As a coach I desire the best for people.
 
The problem is that people are idiots who get in their own way all the god damn time.
 
Ugh…..
 
You can have all that you seek if you will get over your issues and just accept shit happens and we can’t dwell on it, not if we sant to make any meaningful growth in life.
 
So, is tracking calories worth it?
 
Yes and no, what is really worth your time and attention is achieving a state of self love, self appreciation and self acceptance, because once you’ve cracked those you’ll no longer have the same fears and be less apprehensive about being honest with people and more importantly yourself.
 
If you still currently lie to yourself about what you eat, do in training or general life then you’ve got more pressing matters than how many calories are in that cinnamon latte.
 
(It’s around 130, just incase you wanted to know.)
 
Enjoy,
Ross

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The Adult Phenomenon

It’s time to adult for real. 
 
The only thing that really separates adults from children is the simple truth that adults do things they really don’t want to because they’ve not really got any other choice.
 
Well, maybe there is a choice however the alternative for an adult not doing things they must do yet don’t want to can be far more costly than that of the plight of youth.
 
In this world there is nothing we truly have to do, however there are things that as we age it’s easier to just do them instead of suffering the consequences.
 
It’s often said that we have ‘free will’ & ‘freedom of chocie’ which is true, yet people seem to think that this means freedom from consequence, which it doesn’t and you’d do well to remember that.
 
I will say it again:
 
Freedom of choice doesn’t mean freedom from consequence.
 
Keeping the above in mind let us now apply this to fitness.
 
As a youth there are things we know are better for us to do in regards to nutrition & training that will improve our long term health.
 
As a youth we can choose not to do these things, however we will reap what we sow and eventually as an adult you might just find yourself overweight, weak, sick and basically a shadow of your former self.
 
As an adult you may now think “I better get in shape” yet because of being older now it is harder, perhaps not for the physical reasons you may think, more the mental reasons.
 
The mental reasons?
 
Yep, you’ve become accustomed to doing what you want and bollocks to everyone else, it’s your life, your body and so on. The younger you may have had some wiggle room, the older you doesn’t.
 
As such there will now be things that you MUST do, yet you don’t really want to, and normally it means you don’t, why?
 
Because fuck responsibility, that’s why.
 
Of course all of the above is nothing more than words if you take no action.
 
Some will read this post today and do the adult thing of looking at themselves in the mirror and accepting that enough is enough, it’s time to adult for real instead of playing at it.
 
The understanding that comes with maturity, the wisdom that comes with age if boiled down to one sentence would be this –
 
In the end it’s better to do the things you don’t want to do now before they become the things you needed to do years ago.
 
Give it some thought.
 
Enjoy,
Ross

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Get yourself some more value

What is your perceived value of yourself?
Morning All,
Of all the reasons people go to the gym, or at least all the ones they will openly admit, doing it for purely selfish and intrinsic reasons won’t be one of them.
The funny thing is that this is often quite a large factor for many.
To improve our own self worth and feel more valuable to the opposite sex, or who ever you’re trying to impress or gain attention/admiration/praise from, it’s quite the impressive motivator.
Of course this will be one of the harder things for people to admit because even though we are told to do what make us happy and all that other bollocks, if we are actually honest about why we do a lot of things people will be quite quick to turn 180 on us and let their disapproving gavel fall.
You know it’s not wrong to harbour the goal of feeling better about yourself, to know that you are now higher up on the scale of desirability and as such more sought after.
It is human nature to garner attention because it is a valuable resource.
Everyone enjoys positive attention, people who disagree are not being 100% truthful because even if they don’t want general attention, there are certain people or persons that they do want to notice them.
As such there is nothing wrong with wanting to up your perceived value and enjoy the attention.
You’ll find the only people who call you an attention seeking whore are the ones who are having some of theirs taken way from them.
Remember guys, life is a game, no matter if people admit this or not.
There are winners & losers, trust me.
One other positive aspect of increase value is that you start to feel more confident and more resolute, two things that are very useful in this world and can help a great many stop being treated as door mats.
Funny thing about that is it’s only you who can let others treat you in such a way, maybe it’s the only way you know to get some attention of approval from your peers, I don’t know, regardless of why you let it happen the fact remains; you let it happen.
The time for action is now.
If you feel frumpy, lethargic and that you are shaped like a potato, do something about it.
The same is true if you’re stick thin, constantly ill and weaker than a malnourished baby kitten.
No one ever lost the respect of others for wanting to improve themselves.
I have faith in you and know you’re worth more than you I’ve yourself credit for, so please, listen and take action.
If you don’t know where to start all you need do is ask someone for help 🤗
Enjoy,
Ross

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Recovery & Self-worth

“It’s not about how much you can do, it’s about how much you can do and still recover from.”
 
This may seem obvious, however a lot of people think they can do that little bit more to get the upper hand, and for a short time they might indeed achieve this, however if it is prolonged a great many will go past the point of which they are recovering and eventually burn out.
 
If you look at training you need to have planned phases of overreaching, this means dipping in to the bodies energy reserves and even having them below a homeostatic level for a period of time, then you back off and allow your body to recover, thus achieving super-compensation.
 
That means you train hard, get tired, push a bit more, rest/recover and come back stronger than before.
 
Pretty simple.
 
However….
 
A lot of people do this and then try to do more on top, this goes from overreaching to potential overtraining, or worse, they simply do more at a less intense level and never make any progress what so ever.
 
You can train hard or you can train long, not both.
 
The idea of training is to push past your limits, then back off and let your body recover so what used to be your old limit it now closer to your current norm.
 
Sadly the culture we live in leaves people wanting it all yesterday, not to mention they then become addicted to outdoing everyone else which can leave them frustrated.
 
Yep, frustrated.
 
How you or do you know anyone, who trains ‘hard’ all the time yet struggles to get results or progress and then becomes jealous of someone else who does half of what they do and gets better results, I’m sure you have.
 
When this happens all the excuses come out – “Oh, they have better genetics than I do.” or “It’s easy for them I have XYZ condition.”.
 
You get the idea.
 
What gives me the right to say this you ask?
 
I’ve been that person, I did too much and blamed everyone else for my lack of progress when it was all on my because I was doing too much, I was addicted to exercise and drove myself in to the ground because I thought I knew better and I didn’t, don’t be an idiot like me.
 
I have something to tell you.
 
Training doesn’t have to consume your life unless you’re a professional athlete.
 
If you work the 9-5, have kids and a life, you can look great training 3-4 times per week, in some or most cases 2-3 is more than enough, especially when combined with optimal (sensible) nutrition.
 
Mostly peoples mindset comes down to them trying to impress someone or impress others, why though?
 
Doe sit matter if you impress other people, seriously, does it matter to you that much? Really, does it?
 
There is a reason that the older people get the more you hear them say things such as “It doesn’t matter what people think.” – it’s true, it doesn’t, not really.
 
While we all have peers and people we want the approval of, seeking that validation shouldn’t rule our lives because its not healthy if it does.
 
It’s true that the praise of others is nice, it makes us feel good about ourselves, however there is something far more gratifying, self-worth. If you have that you’ll find you’re not only a lot happier but life is a lot easier.
 
Learn to be proud of yourself, if you always rely on others you will always be unhappy and wanting more, not to mention subject to their judgment and trying to keep everyone happy will drain you mentally, it’s not worth it.
 
Pick a select few who’s opinions are worth something and aim to gain self value, you’ll be much happier for it.
 
Enjoy,
Ross

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Me, Myself & I – Ego Tripping 101

Morning All,
 
I hope you’re all well.
 
So, what to write about today, that isn’t recycled information with a slightly different wording or spin on it…..
 
As you may have guessed that is essentially what writing/social media videos etc is actually about in the world of fitness.
 
There is little that we don’t currently know that doesn’t involve the very complex biochemical reactions/mechanisms of the body that is. As for training and nutrition, it’s almost all been said before, so keeping this in mind I feel some reflection would be good.
 
As yourselves the following and answer them honestly:
 
– Where did you start?
– Where are you now?
– How has your ego held you back?
 
That last one will sting for some of you, but hey ho, ego is a fragile thing that leads us to do stupid things on a regular and repeated basis.
 
When it comes to the ego, it can govern us in secret and we never know. It is so sensitive that it feel threatened by almost everything that opposes it and the main fear it has is that of dying (metaphorically).
 
No one likes to admit they might be wrong, or to change a belief or value, even if it is a destructive one that holds them back, I can attest to this as mine has stopped me doing a great many things and because of this I’ve been able to learn what it feels like when mine starts acting up, which I will share with you in the hope you might be able to learn how to silence yours and avoid making the mistakes I have.
 
1. YOU HAVE BECOME VERY SELF-DESTRUCTIVE.
 
Essentially you know something doesn’t feel right yet you do it anyway.
 
2. YOU FEEL OVERLY SELF-CONSCIOUS AROUND OTHERS.
 
You seem there is alway an argument, judgement or someone to oppose your views coming.
 
3. YOU FIND YOURSELF COMPLAINING OFTEN.
 
Not getting your own way or people not fitting your bias will leave your ego screaming because it feels it’s in danger. You will actively seek out info you agree with, even if it’s wrong.
 
4. FIGHTS AND ARGUMENTS HAPPEN FREQUENTLY BETWEEN YOURSELF AND OTHERS.
 
As you can guess, you defend everything you say without questioning if it’s wrong, which it might intact be.
 
 
5. YOU JUDGE OTHERS HARSHLY.
 
Also known as projection, you place everything you don’t like about yourself subconsciously on others so that you don’t feel sacred around them.
 
6. YOU FIND IT HARD TO LISTEN TO OTHERS WITHOUT WANTING TO INTERRUPT.
 
“I know, but…” – this is the line that shows your ego is feeling threatened, if you go to say it stop yourself and listen first.
 
7. YOU SEEK REVENGE WHEN OTHERS HURT YOU.
 
Children and the immature seek revenge, the mature and the wise seek understanding and to learn from their experience. if you find yourself point scoring all the time it’s a sign ego is controlling you.
 
Take these simple insights as see which ones apply to you and for the love of all that is holy, think before you speak, trust me, it causes more problems than it’s worth when you engage your mouth before your brain.
 
Enjoy,
Ross

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Enjoy the Journey

Morning Guys,

The first full week of 2016 is here, it is also the week where everyone will start their journey to a ‘New Me’ and while I find this admirable I sadly hate to say that more than 3/4 of the people who start today will fail.

What is my opinion based on?

Experience.

Over the years I have seen a lot of people start down the road of redemption from their woeful ways, many actually achieved their initial goals which is fantastic but less than a 1/4 of them continue and I’m going to tell you why.

They don’t enjoy the journey.

Having a goal is purpose, but it’s enjoying the journey that makes it truly fulfilling and worthwhile.

I see a lot of people who rush towards their goal, achieve it and for a short time are satisfied, or at least their ego is anyway. This is nothing more than a mentality, we are conditioned over time to stay focused on one point and reach it no matter the cost, however we forget to enjoy the process and thus our achievements don’t stand for much or give us that feeling which we truly desire; Self Appreciation.

We embark on a journey because we THINK we should, because people will congratulate us, because others are doing the same, when in reality we should do it for ourselves, after all, the only persons opinion that really matters is your own.

If you’re one of those on the road to a new you then enjoy each day as it comes. Be proud of every step you take, congratulate yourself and don’t rely on other people for your validation. By enjoying the journey you will achieve you goal and more, not to mention you will actually start living instead of just existing.

Enjoy the journey,
Ross

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