Tag Archives: real people
What are some people really asking?
Good Morning All,
I’ve heard a lot of different questions over my years in this industry I cherish, yet there is often one commonality.
While not true for all it does apply to the large majority.
In regards to asking said questions you’ll find that a lot of people are not actually looking for an answer, or at least not an objective one.
To some they are not asking for an answer, merely for agreement in their current through process.
Confirmation bias you might call it.
I’ve spoken about this before, even did a whole section in a webinar on it, alas I feel my explanation wasn’t good enough.
As such I have three key words or sentence additives that you can listen out for to gain a quick insight in to knowing if you’ve got someone who wants to learn or not.
1 – “Okay, cool. But….”
More the word but, did you know it’s a deleting word where anything that precedes it is now considered invalid by said person who put in the ominous – ‘but’.
2 – “Right, so what if….”
While this might seem trivial it’s quite eye opening, the next time you have a conversation listen to what people are saying, truly listen and you’ll be amazed what you hear people say and realise what they actually mean.
Time for one that relates to our online world now, I have this one happen often in a group I run, same on Instagram in the comments section.
3 – No reply.
Yep, in the online world a lack of reply often means the answer you gave wasn’t the one they wanted to the question they asked, so they’ll post the same one somewhere else until they get the answer they are after.
You might be wondering what gives me such insight.
Well my friends I will tell you.
I’ve used all of the above many times in my formative years, well, the first two anyway, not so much the third one due to a teenage life without the internet.
When you begin working with clients you’ll try your best to answer their questions.
You may even find your clients as the same ones in different ways, now this can either be because you didn’t explain the answer well enough or because you’ve not given them the answer they desire.
This will be frustrating, don’t worry though.
Just keep the above in mind when working with the public.
Of course this doesn’t make them bad people or anything.
It just means they need a little more time, understanding and empathy.
You are now 2 steps closer to knowing what people do a their 10 Habits of Highly Successful Fat loss.
1 – They Write Things Down.
2 – They Say No.
The third habit however is very different from the first two.
If you’ve read any of my other blogs you will notice that I often speak about trying to learn all you can and to never discount anything until you’ve researched it and tried it, however the third habit of these highly successful people goes against my normal advise… and do you know what?
I think it’s absolutely BRILLIANT!
Here it is:
Habit 3: They Don’t Listen to Every Single Opinion.
I know right? It seems counter intuitive, but it is the single most brilliant thing I’ve ever really heard.
Lets look at the facts:
– Everyone will have an opinion on the ‘secret’ fat loss formula.
– There are hundreds of diet books with thousands of methods to lose fat.
– The internet is filled with tips, tricks and remedies to aid in shedding the pounds.
– Everyone’s and expert in their own right when it comes to THEIR body. THEIR BODY… not yours.
The last fact will make you giggle
– Everything works to some degree for a certain light of time.
As you can see, with all of the advice floating around it’s ease for people to get confused. Weight watchers works for some, not for others, slimming world is great for Aunt Mavis but not Lady Brenda and the 1000cal diet will certainly help you lose weight but your health won’t be far behind either.
This is why I really really like the third habit of these highly successful people. They know their own mind and stick with what is working for them.
Simply because a new fad piece of advice comes out it doesn’t mean YOU need to listen to it. It’s the old adage: Just because you can doesn’t mean you should.
If you have been following advice that is working for you then don’t change it until you need to it’s that simple.
Once again this useful habit can be applied to your normal life. A ‘helpful neighbour is offering some advice on how to cut your grass differently for a better result (Perhaps you like your grass the way it is.), you can just say “That’s great advice, I shall bear that in mind.” secretly meaning “That’s the silliest thing I’ve ever heard and I will never use your advice EVER.”.
After giving your the first habit of highly successful fat loss – Writing things down.
I trust you have put this simple yet powerful tool in to action? Trust me it really does work and it can also be applied to other aspects of your life too – Business, Fitness are only two examples.
Now I’ve gotten the quick reminder of the first habit out of the way it’s time to move on to the second habit.
Habit 2: They Say No.
As humans and half decent people we don’t really like the word ‘No’. It just seems so rude doesn’t it?
However that particular word can help you avoid over indulging when you don’t even really want too. Often people will accept an extra slice of pie, or another beer because it was offered to them, lets face it, nobody wants to be ‘that guy or girl’ who turns down a token gesture of good will.
The hardest part of fat loss is by far the psychological aspect, people will offer you temptations not because they are trying to sabotage your progress (Ok, some might) but because they can see you’re doing really well and feel you deserve a treat. This kind gesture is what makes saying ‘No’ so hard, but don’t worry, I have a nice simple line that will help you acknowledge their offer and not leave them feeling rejected when you say the ominous word.
All you need to do is the following:
Smile and say “Thank you for the offer. I appreciate it, but I’m not feeling hungry quite just yet, thanks for considering if I was though.”
This will show them that you genuinely care that they have thought about you, but it doesn’t leave them feeling rejected, more so the simple fact that you’re just not hungry yet.
You don’t need to use that particular example, you can use what ever language you like, just be polite, sincere and smile when you say it.
I am not saying you need to say no to every food or beverage that comes your way, I would just advise you to think about whether you are actually hungry or just bored. We will eat when we are bored, mostly because everyone else is doing it and we don’t want to be out from the crowd.
Learning to say ‘No’ will also be helpful in the world place when your boss ask’s you to do an additional mountain of paper work that you don’t have time for. I find the old “I would be happy to do that, who will be finishing this other work I won’t have time for? Because I wouldn’t want the quality to slip on either project.”, this often eaves them slightly stunned but helps to deter them from giving you anymore.
Learn to say ‘No’ more, it’s not rude, it’s your choice.