Tag Archives: psychology

Getting in our own heads.

Psychology truly is fascinating.

It’s especially interesting to give it some thought while sat pretentiously drinking coffee, because that’s the sign of true intellect, apparently 😂

Take 5 minutes and listen to what people are talking about around you, if possible try to find the ones who are discussing their stress and reaction to said stress.

What habits do they give in to?
Are there any childish reactions?
Is their continued suffering really worth that extra slice of cake?

It’s not uncommon that people are emotional eaters.

Even when you try to be helpful and provide guidance that will steer them in the direction health & longevity, they will still have a retort akin to “Oh, well everything in moderation.”.

No, just no.

Did you know that some people can’t do moderation, and that there are others who really need to stop putting their hand int he cookie jar because of declining health.

These mindsets of “You deserve a treat, you’ve been good.” are drummed in to us as children.

Yep, parents use sweet and certain foods as punishment, reward, basically tools to control a child’s behaviour and this is where many develop a warped mindset with food as it becomes their comfort, their friend, their torturer, their master.

I’m sure some will read this and get offended, because people are quite weak mentally these days and claim that they enjoy the taste of foods, etc etc.

To those people, guess what, everyone (or most people) enjoy food, however if you proceed to eat like an idiot with not a thought to your health you will pay the price in the long run, if you’re not already paying it and it all starts with the psychology of how people relate to food.

Food is just food, it is not something that should control you and if it does then you may wish to seek out some guidance to overcome this and take back control and realise you’re the master.

Personal question for you, have you ever had an eating disorder?

An alarming amount of people have at one stage or current do, so don’t feel you’re alone, there are plenty of others who understand the peace you’re in.

If you also know this, what keeps you in it?

To me this is the fascinating part, because many often choose to stay in a vicious and potentially abusive cycle, because the pain of living any other way seem too great.

Is that how you feel?

Food can have quite the hold over people, I would know.

Food was never used as a tool to control my behaviour as a child so I didn’t grow up with any particular affinity to a food (junk or otherwise), my own personal issue came from being in a highly competitive field that required weight monitoring, again the food itself wasn’t the issue.

Over time various things were learnt, one being a family predisposition (fathers side) to Gluten, most of them have Celiac, this poisoned my mind because it gave me something to latch on to, a logical excuse for not doing certain things, not eating certain foods, basically a reason to become neurotic.

As you can imagine a tricky relationship with food started to develop, this caused various issues in both mental health, physical health along with putting quite the strain on relationships.

Of course at the time it’s never us that is the problem, or the way we eat, nor the way we think, it’s everyone else who does’t understand. We become so enamoured with what we know or rather feel we know that we stop listening to anything that doesn’t fit the narrative we want it to fit.

A dangerous and lonely place to be, so much so that we seek out people in a similar place, that say similar things and it makes us much worse for it.

Think of it like this, where is the worst place for a meth addict to be?

Surrounded by others who hold the attitude of “It’s okay, I need it, we need it, why should we let them take it away from us, it’s ours, our precious.” – extreme example, however one that is easy to understand.

It is hard to break away from a particular mindset by surrounding yourself with people who also think that way, doing that is only going to further confirm the bias that what is being done is okay, when it might be quite harmful to us, again, a place I’ve personally been in.

The only way to move forwards is to speak to those people that perhaps anger or frighten us, not the ones that pander to our biases.

Overtime sense was seen and a swift realisation came.

To be more than we are, we must be prepared to accept the pain of change and seek out those that will tell us what we don’t want to hear as that is often what we need to hear.

While their is comfort in the familiar, just because it si comfortable it doesn’t mean it’s any good for you.

Anyway, enough of that reminiscing.

Share your thoughts, not what you think people want to hear mind you, YOUR thoughts and what food means to you and if possible where you feel this attitude came from.

I look forwards to reading them.
Ross

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Infinity Wars, Methods in Madness & More.

Morning All,
 
Given it was the release on the new Avengers film a mere two days ago, I trust a few of you will be venturing to see it, i know I certainly will be.
 
You might be wondering what that has to do with the above – ‘Methods in Madness’.
 
Well, you might be surprised to learn that it is in regard to social gatherings with members of your gym, or even your clients.
 
Yep, you all go out, perhaps on a sesh, or even just somewhere fun.
 
You’ll see why it seems made shortly.
 
I’m sure some of you have already twigged it the little sweetener to each get together.
 
You cover the costs.
 
Yep, you.
 
I shall wait for some to pick up their jaws from the floor.
 
Now this isn’t just a random altruistic act, there is a scientific reason behind it and that my friends is the principle of reciprocity.
 
– It means you give before you seek to gain.
 
Doing this will achieve the following:
 
– Improved Rapport
– Boosted Brand Awareness (people will talk)
– Repeated Client Investment (£££££££, cash monies 👍)
– A Nice Tax Write Off 😂
 
The same is true for having a welcome pack for all new clients and continued investment in your current ones.
 
Simply things like getting them personalised training diaries (based on information you’ve gathered), a HR Monitor of sorts to improve their CV training, Birthday cards and everything in-between.
 
It may seem like you’re trying to buys peoples loyalty, this is not the case, you are instead rewarding it because even though you can then ask for something in return and due to the governing psychological affect this principle holds, you won’t.
 
That’s right, you don’t do these things for something in return, nor should you want to, even though you can (it’s logical from a business standpoint).
 
You do things like this because you want to, perhaps even because it’s the right or the nice thing to do.
 
While it may be one large BBQ or Outing a year that are of course enjoyable and messy, dear god the alcohol I’ve consumed at these events 🤭, it’s been colossal.
 
It is the little things you can do for people, monthly, weekly, even daily that will make the big difference because when all is said & done, and the time to reflect comes around, you’ll see that the little things were in actual fact the ones that meant the most.
 
Always look to give back more than you’ve ever received, just because you can.
 
Enjoy your weekend and please leave your plans/adventures or questions down below.
 
Ross

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Do you want change or simply like the idea of it?

Three things that stop you making a change for the better.
 
– Ego
– Bias
– Excuses
 
Now these may seem obvious, however people let their get in the way far too often.
 
The ego fears dying.
 
The bias fears being proved wrong.
 
The excuses fears their invalidity.
 
Now take a second and see these simple musings this way…
 
You fear change because it means an old part of you dies, even if this part of you was self-destructive and of no benefit to your life.
 
You fear change because it means what you felt was right was only right because you looked for things to make it so, you sought out bias answers that you wanted to hear, rather than what you actually needed to hear.
 
You fear change because once you start making it you have two accept that your excuses were just that, excuses.
 
Do people want to hear this?
 
No.
 
Do they need to hear this?
 
Yes.
 
In the end we hold the cards in our own hand, we have the ultimate final say.
 
Context will play a part in our choices, however they are still our choices and as such we don’t have to make them if we don’t want to, not really.
 
As a fellow human I want people to be happy.
 
To make the changes that will make them smile and live a good life.
 
That said, I can’t make a choice or a change for you, that’s up to you.
 
Reflect on your life, give it some thought and once you have ask yourself this –
 
Do I want change or do I just like the idea of change?
 
Enjoy,
Ross

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Three things you need to stop immediately.

If you do I can guarantee you will feel much better.
 
1 – Worrying about he number on the scales.
 
In fact throw them out, literally. They serve no purpose other than to keep you in a narrow mindset and hold you back, remember a low umber on the scale doesn’t mean happens or health (physically, mentally & emotionally) it can often mean the opposite, sadly.
 
2 – Stressing over what you think other people are thinking.
 
I have some news for you, you don’t know what is going through other peoples heads, no, really, you don’t, so stop stressing yourself out about it.
 
Chances are they’re not looking at you, it’s just something you’ve conditioned yourself in to thinking.
 
How do I know this? Talk about irony.
 
I used to do it and in fact I still do it from time to time, trust me, people are rarely thinking about what you think they’re thinking about.
 
3 – Changing for everyone else.
 
It’s human nature to want to please others, however it’s not something that should cause you internal strife.
 
A lot of people want to change, which is not necessarily a bad thing, however it’s the reasons they want to change that could be very questionable.
 
Changing for reasons other than your own is a sure way to failure because the changes may not be something you want.
 
Take for example fat loss. Good for health, potentially yes, good to do so that others accept you or you attract that certain special someone, no, 100% a terrible idea.
 
Social pressure is a massive influence on people these days and the more you try to fit in with the crowds externally, the worse you end up feeling internally, then you look back when you’re a little wiser and realise it wasn’t worth it.
 
Make changes for your own personal reasons and you’ll be far happier for it.
 
There you have it.
 
Three things to stop doing.
 
Will this happen immediately?
 
No, probably not, however the first step in changing a behaviour (if it’s what you want to do), it acknowledging it, then accepting it, once they are achieved you can start towards the pace you want to be in, physically, mentally and emotionally.
 
Enjoy,
Ross

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Me, Myself & I – Ego Tripping 101

Morning All,
 
I hope you’re all well.
 
So, what to write about today, that isn’t recycled information with a slightly different wording or spin on it…..
 
As you may have guessed that is essentially what writing/social media videos etc is actually about in the world of fitness.
 
There is little that we don’t currently know that doesn’t involve the very complex biochemical reactions/mechanisms of the body that is. As for training and nutrition, it’s almost all been said before, so keeping this in mind I feel some reflection would be good.
 
As yourselves the following and answer them honestly:
 
– Where did you start?
– Where are you now?
– How has your ego held you back?
 
That last one will sting for some of you, but hey ho, ego is a fragile thing that leads us to do stupid things on a regular and repeated basis.
 
When it comes to the ego, it can govern us in secret and we never know. It is so sensitive that it feel threatened by almost everything that opposes it and the main fear it has is that of dying (metaphorically).
 
No one likes to admit they might be wrong, or to change a belief or value, even if it is a destructive one that holds them back, I can attest to this as mine has stopped me doing a great many things and because of this I’ve been able to learn what it feels like when mine starts acting up, which I will share with you in the hope you might be able to learn how to silence yours and avoid making the mistakes I have.
 
1. YOU HAVE BECOME VERY SELF-DESTRUCTIVE.
 
Essentially you know something doesn’t feel right yet you do it anyway.
 
2. YOU FEEL OVERLY SELF-CONSCIOUS AROUND OTHERS.
 
You seem there is alway an argument, judgement or someone to oppose your views coming.
 
3. YOU FIND YOURSELF COMPLAINING OFTEN.
 
Not getting your own way or people not fitting your bias will leave your ego screaming because it feels it’s in danger. You will actively seek out info you agree with, even if it’s wrong.
 
4. FIGHTS AND ARGUMENTS HAPPEN FREQUENTLY BETWEEN YOURSELF AND OTHERS.
 
As you can guess, you defend everything you say without questioning if it’s wrong, which it might intact be.
 
 
5. YOU JUDGE OTHERS HARSHLY.
 
Also known as projection, you place everything you don’t like about yourself subconsciously on others so that you don’t feel sacred around them.
 
6. YOU FIND IT HARD TO LISTEN TO OTHERS WITHOUT WANTING TO INTERRUPT.
 
“I know, but…” – this is the line that shows your ego is feeling threatened, if you go to say it stop yourself and listen first.
 
7. YOU SEEK REVENGE WHEN OTHERS HURT YOU.
 
Children and the immature seek revenge, the mature and the wise seek understanding and to learn from their experience. if you find yourself point scoring all the time it’s a sign ego is controlling you.
 
Take these simple insights as see which ones apply to you and for the love of all that is holy, think before you speak, trust me, it causes more problems than it’s worth when you engage your mouth before your brain.
 
Enjoy,
Ross

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Give yourself a break once in a while.

With Christmas Right around the corner there will be a lot of indulgence and while I have no issues with this it can lead to a rather negative/vicious circle for some people.
 
You know the one…
 
They want said food, they don’t only eat what will satisfy them, they gorge because for that moment they lose an inhibitions. This can even last for the entire month of December which isn’t a problem for those who are happy with that decision, however for those who will be rife with guilty it can be quite damaging.
 
After this period the new years comes in and the same people go hell for leather in the gym and strip back their nutrition to the bones, this only leads to physical and mental burn out which is not good at all. In fact it’s quite a bad place to be in because it can start the year off with a negative thought process and pattern that ends up being repeated.
 
What pattern?
 
– Think being ‘thin’ ‘toned’ ‘any other fad word’ will make you happy – Achieve said goal but feel terrible (and become potentially ill) because of all you’ve denied yourself – Let loose and eat EVERYTHING – Feel guilty – Repeat process –
 
I see this happen year after year, not only at Christmas specifically, it happens all year round and it’s something we need to help people break out of. No easy task, sadly.
 
My advice?
 
Before you make a choice be sure that you’re completely happy with it and the outcome, if you know deep down this is not the case then perhaps you might want to reconsider.
 
If you find you might not be abel to do it on your own then seek out help, there is nothing wrong with asking for help.
 
Remember to enjoy Christmas guilt free, don’t make choices you will regret, just ones you will look back and smile over.
 
Enjoy
Ross

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Sunken Cost

Morning Guys,
 
    Do you fall victim to the time you’ve invested in something? You know, like a personal project, business acquisition, unprogressive exercise program or expensive fad diet?
 
    I have, as have many others like me and it took a while to admit it but once that step was taken there was nowhere left to hide and accepting the mistake of investing too much time in something that is going nowhere.
 
    It’s common place to see people cling on to things they’ve invested time, effort, money and emotion in because to let such a thing go would cause the ego to receive a fairly hefty blow, but sometimes you need to let go of things that are doomed. After all, how many times have you, yourself, invested in something that has failed dramatically and refused to let it go? More than once I am willing to bet.
 
    The technical term for this is ‘Sunken Cost Fallacy’ and if you look around you will see it claims many a victim because of ego & pride. I am not saying you shouldn’t give new ventures, workouts or nutrition protocols a chance, far from it. I am saying you will simply need to be ready and willing to let one of them go if they are yielding demonising returns, which you should be able to see by the tracking systems you have in places to monitor your progression, obviously.
 
    Take a look at your current lifestyle and see if you can spot any particular endeavours that need to be removed from the fray and get rid of them for something more lucrative. I promise you will become more productive and far less stressed if you do.
 
Enjoy, Ross

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Don’t Think, FEEL.

Morning Guys,

In the world of fitness you will hear some of the more experienced lifters talk a lot about lifting according to how they feel.

It seems that now lots of people are using that word, but it does not mean what you think it means…

When you gain enough experience to base your lifts off how you feel it does not mean any of the following:

– Going too light too often.
– Stopping short because you don’t ‘feel’ it.
– Staying in your comfort zones.

The three points above are very common and people use feel as an excuse not to work harder, where as the experienced lifters use feel to test their limits and perhaps work up to a new 8,5 or 3RM for the day and maybe even add a little more weight to their assistance/back off sets.

It is true that if they really don’t feel strong enough to push a new RM they won’t but they will still hit their minimum lifting numbers according to their program.

Experienced lifters do work off of feel but they also follow a a progressive and periodised program as well. For these people ‘feel’ means a new RM/PB not “I’m going to take it easy because I’m a tad sore” which is what it means to many.

Some call this Auto-Regulation. This is linked in with utilising the RPE (Rate of perceived exertion) scale to gauge your lifts. You might record a deadlift that feels like an 8RPE to you but when you watch it back it looks like a 7, meaning you will help understand what each RPE point means to you and how/when to push harder or hold back.

Any good program will be progressive and have scheduled de-loads and a logical structure one the Macro/Meso & Micro-cycles, however until you are at a Training Age* that allows you to understand what ‘feel’ actually is you’d be better off following a strict structured program and striving for constant progression.

*Training Age si the amount of years you’ve been lifting. As an example you can have an 18year old Olympic Lifter who has been lifting for 14years easily out-lift a 30Year old man who has been lifting 6month.

If you have been lifting for a considerable amount of time then you will already know what feel really is, if you;re still new to lifting I would advise you write everything down when you train. I literally mean everything… How the reps felt, how they looked on camera, how their speed was, who your form was, EVERYTHING. Doing this will help you grasp the concept of what feel actually is very quickly.

In the words of a wise man:

“Don’t think, feel.” – Bruce Lee

Enjoy,
Ross

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