Tag Archives: psychology

Do you want change or simply like the idea of it?

Three things that stop you making a change for the better.
 
– Ego
– Bias
– Excuses
 
Now these may seem obvious, however people let their get in the way far too often.
 
The ego fears dying.
 
The bias fears being proved wrong.
 
The excuses fears their invalidity.
 
Now take a second and see these simple musings this way…
 
You fear change because it means an old part of you dies, even if this part of you was self-destructive and of no benefit to your life.
 
You fear change because it means what you felt was right was only right because you looked for things to make it so, you sought out bias answers that you wanted to hear, rather than what you actually needed to hear.
 
You fear change because once you start making it you have two accept that your excuses were just that, excuses.
 
Do people want to hear this?
 
No.
 
Do they need to hear this?
 
Yes.
 
In the end we hold the cards in our own hand, we have the ultimate final say.
 
Context will play a part in our choices, however they are still our choices and as such we don’t have to make them if we don’t want to, not really.
 
As a fellow human I want people to be happy.
 
To make the changes that will make them smile and live a good life.
 
That said, I can’t make a choice or a change for you, that’s up to you.
 
Reflect on your life, give it some thought and once you have ask yourself this –
 
Do I want change or do I just like the idea of change?
 
Enjoy,
Ross
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Three things you need to stop immediately.

If you do I can guarantee you will feel much better.
 
1 – Worrying about he number on the scales.
 
In fact throw them out, literally. They serve no purpose other than to keep you in a narrow mindset and hold you back, remember a low umber on the scale doesn’t mean happens or health (physically, mentally & emotionally) it can often mean the opposite, sadly.
 
2 – Stressing over what you think other people are thinking.
 
I have some news for you, you don’t know what is going through other peoples heads, no, really, you don’t, so stop stressing yourself out about it.
 
Chances are they’re not looking at you, it’s just something you’ve conditioned yourself in to thinking.
 
How do I know this? Talk about irony.
 
I used to do it and in fact I still do it from time to time, trust me, people are rarely thinking about what you think they’re thinking about.
 
3 – Changing for everyone else.
 
It’s human nature to want to please others, however it’s not something that should cause you internal strife.
 
A lot of people want to change, which is not necessarily a bad thing, however it’s the reasons they want to change that could be very questionable.
 
Changing for reasons other than your own is a sure way to failure because the changes may not be something you want.
 
Take for example fat loss. Good for health, potentially yes, good to do so that others accept you or you attract that certain special someone, no, 100% a terrible idea.
 
Social pressure is a massive influence on people these days and the more you try to fit in with the crowds externally, the worse you end up feeling internally, then you look back when you’re a little wiser and realise it wasn’t worth it.
 
Make changes for your own personal reasons and you’ll be far happier for it.
 
There you have it.
 
Three things to stop doing.
 
Will this happen immediately?
 
No, probably not, however the first step in changing a behaviour (if it’s what you want to do), it acknowledging it, then accepting it, once they are achieved you can start towards the pace you want to be in, physically, mentally and emotionally.
 
Enjoy,
Ross

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Me, Myself & I – Ego Tripping 101

Morning All,
 
I hope you’re all well.
 
So, what to write about today, that isn’t recycled information with a slightly different wording or spin on it…..
 
As you may have guessed that is essentially what writing/social media videos etc is actually about in the world of fitness.
 
There is little that we don’t currently know that doesn’t involve the very complex biochemical reactions/mechanisms of the body that is. As for training and nutrition, it’s almost all been said before, so keeping this in mind I feel some reflection would be good.
 
As yourselves the following and answer them honestly:
 
– Where did you start?
– Where are you now?
– How has your ego held you back?
 
That last one will sting for some of you, but hey ho, ego is a fragile thing that leads us to do stupid things on a regular and repeated basis.
 
When it comes to the ego, it can govern us in secret and we never know. It is so sensitive that it feel threatened by almost everything that opposes it and the main fear it has is that of dying (metaphorically).
 
No one likes to admit they might be wrong, or to change a belief or value, even if it is a destructive one that holds them back, I can attest to this as mine has stopped me doing a great many things and because of this I’ve been able to learn what it feels like when mine starts acting up, which I will share with you in the hope you might be able to learn how to silence yours and avoid making the mistakes I have.
 
1. YOU HAVE BECOME VERY SELF-DESTRUCTIVE.
 
Essentially you know something doesn’t feel right yet you do it anyway.
 
2. YOU FEEL OVERLY SELF-CONSCIOUS AROUND OTHERS.
 
You seem there is alway an argument, judgement or someone to oppose your views coming.
 
3. YOU FIND YOURSELF COMPLAINING OFTEN.
 
Not getting your own way or people not fitting your bias will leave your ego screaming because it feels it’s in danger. You will actively seek out info you agree with, even if it’s wrong.
 
4. FIGHTS AND ARGUMENTS HAPPEN FREQUENTLY BETWEEN YOURSELF AND OTHERS.
 
As you can guess, you defend everything you say without questioning if it’s wrong, which it might intact be.
 
 
5. YOU JUDGE OTHERS HARSHLY.
 
Also known as projection, you place everything you don’t like about yourself subconsciously on others so that you don’t feel sacred around them.
 
6. YOU FIND IT HARD TO LISTEN TO OTHERS WITHOUT WANTING TO INTERRUPT.
 
“I know, but…” – this is the line that shows your ego is feeling threatened, if you go to say it stop yourself and listen first.
 
7. YOU SEEK REVENGE WHEN OTHERS HURT YOU.
 
Children and the immature seek revenge, the mature and the wise seek understanding and to learn from their experience. if you find yourself point scoring all the time it’s a sign ego is controlling you.
 
Take these simple insights as see which ones apply to you and for the love of all that is holy, think before you speak, trust me, it causes more problems than it’s worth when you engage your mouth before your brain.
 
Enjoy,
Ross

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Give yourself a break once in a while.

With Christmas Right around the corner there will be a lot of indulgence and while I have no issues with this it can lead to a rather negative/vicious circle for some people.
 
You know the one…
 
They want said food, they don’t only eat what will satisfy them, they gorge because for that moment they lose an inhibitions. This can even last for the entire month of December which isn’t a problem for those who are happy with that decision, however for those who will be rife with guilty it can be quite damaging.
 
After this period the new years comes in and the same people go hell for leather in the gym and strip back their nutrition to the bones, this only leads to physical and mental burn out which is not good at all. In fact it’s quite a bad place to be in because it can start the year off with a negative thought process and pattern that ends up being repeated.
 
What pattern?
 
– Think being ‘thin’ ‘toned’ ‘any other fad word’ will make you happy – Achieve said goal but feel terrible (and become potentially ill) because of all you’ve denied yourself – Let loose and eat EVERYTHING – Feel guilty – Repeat process –
 
I see this happen year after year, not only at Christmas specifically, it happens all year round and it’s something we need to help people break out of. No easy task, sadly.
 
My advice?
 
Before you make a choice be sure that you’re completely happy with it and the outcome, if you know deep down this is not the case then perhaps you might want to reconsider.
 
If you find you might not be abel to do it on your own then seek out help, there is nothing wrong with asking for help.
 
Remember to enjoy Christmas guilt free, don’t make choices you will regret, just ones you will look back and smile over.
 
Enjoy
Ross

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Sunken Cost

Morning Guys,
 
    Do you fall victim to the time you’ve invested in something? You know, like a personal project, business acquisition, unprogressive exercise program or expensive fad diet?
 
    I have, as have many others like me and it took a while to admit it but once that step was taken there was nowhere left to hide and accepting the mistake of investing too much time in something that is going nowhere.
 
    It’s common place to see people cling on to things they’ve invested time, effort, money and emotion in because to let such a thing go would cause the ego to receive a fairly hefty blow, but sometimes you need to let go of things that are doomed. After all, how many times have you, yourself, invested in something that has failed dramatically and refused to let it go? More than once I am willing to bet.
 
    The technical term for this is ‘Sunken Cost Fallacy’ and if you look around you will see it claims many a victim because of ego & pride. I am not saying you shouldn’t give new ventures, workouts or nutrition protocols a chance, far from it. I am saying you will simply need to be ready and willing to let one of them go if they are yielding demonising returns, which you should be able to see by the tracking systems you have in places to monitor your progression, obviously.
 
    Take a look at your current lifestyle and see if you can spot any particular endeavours that need to be removed from the fray and get rid of them for something more lucrative. I promise you will become more productive and far less stressed if you do.
 
Enjoy, Ross

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Don’t Think, FEEL.

Morning Guys,

In the world of fitness you will hear some of the more experienced lifters talk a lot about lifting according to how they feel.

It seems that now lots of people are using that word, but it does not mean what you think it means…

When you gain enough experience to base your lifts off how you feel it does not mean any of the following:

– Going too light too often.
– Stopping short because you don’t ‘feel’ it.
– Staying in your comfort zones.

The three points above are very common and people use feel as an excuse not to work harder, where as the experienced lifters use feel to test their limits and perhaps work up to a new 8,5 or 3RM for the day and maybe even add a little more weight to their assistance/back off sets.

It is true that if they really don’t feel strong enough to push a new RM they won’t but they will still hit their minimum lifting numbers according to their program.

Experienced lifters do work off of feel but they also follow a a progressive and periodised program as well. For these people ‘feel’ means a new RM/PB not “I’m going to take it easy because I’m a tad sore” which is what it means to many.

Some call this Auto-Regulation. This is linked in with utilising the RPE (Rate of perceived exertion) scale to gauge your lifts. You might record a deadlift that feels like an 8RPE to you but when you watch it back it looks like a 7, meaning you will help understand what each RPE point means to you and how/when to push harder or hold back.

Any good program will be progressive and have scheduled de-loads and a logical structure one the Macro/Meso & Micro-cycles, however until you are at a Training Age* that allows you to understand what ‘feel’ actually is you’d be better off following a strict structured program and striving for constant progression.

*Training Age si the amount of years you’ve been lifting. As an example you can have an 18year old Olympic Lifter who has been lifting for 14years easily out-lift a 30Year old man who has been lifting 6month.

If you have been lifting for a considerable amount of time then you will already know what feel really is, if you;re still new to lifting I would advise you write everything down when you train. I literally mean everything… How the reps felt, how they looked on camera, how their speed was, who your form was, EVERYTHING. Doing this will help you grasp the concept of what feel actually is very quickly.

In the words of a wise man:

“Don’t think, feel.” – Bruce Lee

Enjoy,
Ross

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Tips for Trainers

Yesterdays post was pertaining to Psychology and its importance in how successful your business will be.

It seems the point of the post was sadly missed.

While it is understandable that you want to know how you can get someone stronger

(Progressive overload with planned regression to a base point higher than the original.)

Or what is the best method to lose fat

(strength training combined with interval cardio)

And what nutrition protocols work the best for fat loss

(Eat more protein, eat more fibre, drink more water and eat less processed foods.)

Or muscle gain

(Same as fat loss with less cardio)

The importance of learning more about PEOPLE can’t be stressed enough because without being able to connect with people you won’t have a business, it’s that simple.

Here are 3 more tips on making those vital connections with people and gaining new clients:

1 – Don’t sing your own praises as this will not make you look confident when you start out, it will make you look arrogant. Instead have other people sing your praises for you. How can you do this with no clients?

You help people by giving them advice you would normally charge for thus getting them past a sticking point or plateau. You’re essentially doing them a favour, in return they will help you when you ask them by writing perhaps a short testimonial or giving you some before/after pictures as the result of your free advice.

Remember most of the time when people give you a gift you feel inclined to do the same at some point down the road.

2 – Don’t make people feel stupid. Saying something such as:

“Let me prove it to you.” or “I will do XYZ”

Need to be used carefully because this can give off the impression that you feel you’re better than the person you’re trying to help (Even if it’s true, never make them feel that is the case.), people want to be on equal terms.

Treat people with respect and they will reciprocate, some will even go beyond that and give you the highest praise imaginable which is worth its weight in gold.

3 – Be passionate about what they are passionate about. If you love lifting weight but they love cardio you now love cardio too.

Why?

We want to be around people who are like us. We feel more comfortable in the presence of those who share the same passions, interests and ideals so being like a chameleon and matching what is around you will help you build more bridges and create a good name for yourself.

If building a business was as simple as simply knowing your stuff there would be a lot more successful trainers in the world but unfortunately there isn’t.

Enjoy
Ross

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The 10 Habits of Highly Successful Fat Loss

I hope all of you who are reading The 10 Habits of Highly Successful Fat Loss are learning lots, this is because the Habits are now about to get more interesting.

Here is another recap of the first 5:

1 – They Write Things Down.
2 – They Say No.
3 – They Don’t Listen to Every Single Opinion.
4 – They Use Common Sense.
5 – They Make Their Own Meals.

Time to Start the next habit:

Habit 6: They Avoid Looking RIGHT At Snacks.

Confused?

Don’t be, I shall explain how this habit works and it’s reasons. Everything will become clear in a few short minutes of reading.

Everyone loves a good snack, but do those successful people avoid snacking too much?

There is nothing wrong with a good snack, however, one can become two, then three and eventually eight.

Snacks a devilishly moorish, and with good reasons too. They are made to be this way so that we can’t just have one, we must have more.

What I have noticed is something that leads people to snack more than is necessary.

Look at your snack draw at work, or where you put the bag of nuts, sweets or biltong.

Is your snack of choice on the right hand side of you?

If the answer is yes you will be lead to you snacking more. This has been discussed in several psychology articles we have read along with a couple of books. Have you ever noticed that the sweets, magazines and special offers at check out stands are on your right? You will now.

There seems to be some inherent connection with the right hand wanting to pick up what ever is on it’s side.

While there are no specific studies on this subject, the simple observations and notes made by various psychologists lead us to feel there is defiantly something more to it.

Yes it might sounds crazy, but all we are asking is for you to try moving your snacks over to the left draw or your left hand side and see what happens.

This is a little known habit used by those highly successful people who started out just like you.

Enjoy
Ross

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