Tag Archives: new year

Your Excuse, Your Failure

“It gets harder as you get older.”
 
Well yes, but actually no.
 
This is something I’ve heard no less than a dozen times since January the 1st, and from people in their 30’s.
 
Okay, your 30, not dead and the reason you’ve gained fat, lost muscle and feel shit about yourself is because you allowed it to happen because life got comfortable.
 
Yep, it’s all on you, the universe or other cosmic entity just went with the choices you decide to make.
 
Age, like having kids or some phantom/elf diagnosed medical condition, is the perfect excuse for people to hide behind because to question it will have you almost burned at the steak.
 
In full candour, life it simply hard there are very few breaks given and the struggle is real.
 
In this knowledge you have two real choices:
 
1 – Do the best you can with what you’ve been given
2 – Hide behind excuses like everyone else
 
There isn’t much more to it really.
 
Yes barriers, unfortunate events and general shit will crop up, that is inevitable however it’s how you choose to deal with it that counts.
 
Excuse or effort, it’s your call.
 
Don’t get me wrong, I’m far from free of the above because so many excuses have come from my lips, so well thought out that I almost even convinced myself of their validity and who they truly stopped me moving forwards.
 
This of course was all bullshit, they were just excuses that gave me a reason to give up and not feel too bad about it when the truth of the matter was so much simpler.
 
It wasn’t important enough to me.
 
That is literally what it comes down to, and in addition to that I learned from a very young age that telling people this, that things or they didn’t matter went down like a lead ballon. So I started making excuses that would protect everyone and give me an out.
 
All bullshit really and as I got older and less worried about the world and the people in it I found my attitude evolved into what it is now –
 
‘I will tell you the truth regardless, you can choose to response or react because I’m done.’
 
Excuses come in may shapes and sizes, as do our legitimate barriers/obstacles.
 
There is one crucial difference between them though, a barrier/obstacle will have options to overcome it and still slow you to move forwards, even if slowly, essentially they simply slow you down and will eventually no longer be an issue/consideration.
 
An excuse on the other hand will be there forever because you’re allowing it to be there because you’ve created it and to remove it will involve you being 100% honest with yourself in the fact that you put it there to sabotage yourself and give you a reason to fail, quite, give up and stay weak or helpless.
 
Excuse or effort, your choice.
 
If it really means something to you then you’ll find a way, like life.
 
Life will always find a way to keep growing, you should too.
 
Enjoy,
Ross

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9 Magical Methods to Physical Progress in 2020

Only kidding, these aren’t magical.
 
They will work though provided you put in the effort and stop making excuses like you have every year since you found out that excuses kept you safe.
 
Harsh as it sounds people fail all the time.
 
Mostly due to their own ineptitude and lack of willing.
 
You see if you need a reason to do something you’ll find it, regardless of how monumental the task you will find the exact means you need to justify the end.
 
Keeping this in mind here are your 9 Magical Methods 💪
 
1 – Public Shame
 
Make your intentions loud & clear for all to hear.
 
You’d also find that a very public penalty or forfeit may keep your head in the game, something like you will buy all your best friends clothing for an entire year.
 
^ Have this written up in a contract that is legally binding, honestly don’t fuck about, actually have a price to pay if you fail because talk of punishment is cheap, make it a real possibility.
 
2 – Hire a Professional
 
Pay someone to get you to your goal, and pay someone that is expensive, literally at the top end of the price scale.
 
So much so that it requires you to sacrifice various creature comforts and habits to pay for their services, make your sacrifice mean something so that if you fail you’ll know you’ve let yourself down.
 
3 – Ask children for their opinions
 
Yep, kids are the best critics because they tell the truth.
 
If you’re fat a child will tell you, same goes for being ugly, having bad hygiene or sucking at sport.
 
These unforgiving little buggers are the ones you want to listen to, not people your own age because chances they’re also in a sad state as well and will tell you what you want to hear, not what you need to hear.
 
4 – Get Upset/Offended
 
Yep, listen to all the things that evoke strong emotions and make you feel uncomfortable because you will always move away from pain.
 
Being fitness related of course, if people are talking lumps out of your character for no reason then high 5 them with a metal chair.
 
5 – Stop acting like a child
 
This means preparing meals from scratch, taking responsibility for yourself and admitting that it’s no one else fault except your own.
 
You’re not in control of everything in your life, yet one aspect you can take charge in is your physical state, so do it.
 
6 – Get new friends
 
Your old fiends are holding you back because you’re ‘one of them’.
 
Look at the 5 people closest to you, if they’re all carrying execs body fat, unhealthy, excuse making machine then chances are you will be as well.
 
Find people that make you better not hold you back.
 
7 – Remove all food temptations from your home
 
Secret eating is common.
 
I knew a chap who would always talk about how clean he was eating yet still held quite the impressive amount of belly fat.
 
Despite his bluster his partner found all his empty chocolate bar wrappers kidding down the side of the bed and made everyone aware in a hilarious social media shaming.
 
Don’t be the person that lies because you only hurt yourself in the long run by doing so.
 
If you genuinely struggle and need help them please ask for it.
 
8 – Find people to help
 
As mentioned above, asking for help is crucial in success.
 
It’s not weak, it’s not bad, it’s a bloody good idea.
 
Finding a group of people that will help pull you up to higher standards is the way forwards, it will be tough, you’ll mentally feel like the worst person in the room because you probably are.
 
Even if faced with this fact don’t crump like a wet richmond biscuit in tetley tea, you’re worth so much more than that.
 
Have the same level of faith in yourself that some of us have in you and take the leap, don’t wait and think, just take it.
 
9 – Listen to people that have been where you are
 
You’re not along you know.
 
A lot of people struggle mentally because of their physical state.
 
It is very much my belief that we live in a superficial world, and deep down I feel you know this too.
 
As such people need to find a place they’re physically happy before they can make any real progress mentally, this is also confirmed by the science too, physically healthier people suffer less mental strife (better balance hormones, neurotransmitters, etc).
 
Find people to talk to that have made the journey already.
 
Listen to their story, hear their struggle, how they got through it and what it meant to them in the end.
 
You see it’s not being a physical specimen that we truly desire, it’s what comes after that, this is the real goal.
 
Self confidence & knowing we’re okay.
 
^ That’s what people want.
 
None of the above is magical, it is however all relevant.
 
You should investigate this thoroughly.
 
Enjoy,
Ross

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Arbitrary Goals for 2020

Lacking direction for gym related targets?
 
Here are some to consider hitting if you’d like the fleeting respect of people you’ll never see again mias social media.
 
Barbell Curl 0.50xBW x20reps
Press – 0.75xBW x20reps
Pull Up – Bw x20reps
Bench Press – BW x20reps
Squat – 1.5xBW x20reps
Deadlift – 2xBW x20reps
 
Why 20?
 
Why are barbell curls in there, surely there are better movements to do?
 
My answer is as follows:
 
Because why not 😂
 
These are simply arbitrary goals that will yield a decent benefit to many people.
 
The loads are not astronomical, in fact all of the above are pretty reasonable unless you’re very weak.
 
If you are very weak then they’re the ideal goals for you because they will rid you of said weakness.
 
How you program to achieve these is up to you.
 
My suggestion is to train 3 days per week with a different focus lift on each day.
 
Monday – Day 1 – Deadlift & Curl
Wednesday – Day 2 – Bench Press & Pull Up
Saturday – Day 3 – Press & Squat
 
Being able to hit all the above for 1 solid set of 20 will be quite satisfying, if you wish to extend this goal for a little more bang for your buck try to achieve 2 working sets of 20 at the target weights.
 
When you can do that you’ll have built a good foundation of strength and potentially muscle as well (provided your nutrition supports it).
 
For accessory work pick 2-3 movements for your posterior chain, things like Loaded Carries, Reverse Hypers, Good Mornings, Reverse Flies & Tricep/Calf/Grip work are all good, 2-3×10-15 for these work well.
 
For the 20rep goal, establish the end goal loads.
 
Once you know these you work backwards to sensible starting weights (perhaps 50% of the end weight).
 
Here is an example based on my on BW rounded up for easy maths:
 
Barbell Curl 0.50xBW = 40kg /2 = 20kg start
Press – 0.75xBW x20reps = 60kg /2 = 30kg start
Pull Up – Bw x20reps = 80kg* /2 = 40kg
Bench Press – BW x20reps 80kg /2 = 40kg start
Squat – 1.5xBW x20reps 120kg /2 = 60kg start
Deadlift – 2xBW x20reps 160kg /2 = 80kg start
 
*For the pull up you’d use band if required, or personally I’d just start off doing lower reps and building on them until I hit 20 unbroken.
 
All decent starting loads that are very achievable.
 
Warm up set wise you won’t need much, perhaps 1-2×20, then crack on with the work.
 
For the working sets you’ll be having that set to 1 for the time being, aim to add load each session you successfully hit 20reps in your woking set.
 
E.G – Press – 0.75xBW x20reps = 60kg /2 = 30kg start
30kg x20 = +2.5kg
32.5 x20= +3.5kg
35kg x13 = stay at this load and aim to get 1-2 more reps and repeat until you hit 20.
 
Make sense?
 
Once you hit the end weight goals add in a second working set at that weight, if you hit the reps first try then it’s time to set a new goal, if not work on that until you hit 2×20 – working sets.
 
May your 2020 be filled with progress & success.
 
Enjoy,
Ross

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Nothing = 2020

Consistency is troublesome for many people.
 
The idea of having to repeat something again and again and agin just doesn’t take well.
 
Given we’re two days away from reigning in a new year it’ll be time for all the –
 
“2018 broke me, 2019 taught me, 2020, let’s do this!”
 
😂😂😂
 
Such heroic nonsense.
 
In the words of Conner McGregor – “You’ll do nothin”
 
If it take the 1st of January for you to pull your finger out I’m not afraid to say that my friend you’ve all ready failed.
 
You see if you see a reason to become better and change your life, well you’d find it.
 
Regardless of that reason you’d find it because you want to.
 
So many need things to start on a Monday, the 1st of a month, after and event or whatever, it’s just not worth it, given how many millions fail what makes you think you’ll be any different?
 
True many other millions succeed, yet no one ever asks them about what made the succeeded, they merely admire from afar or write in envy.
 
Question for you, why will you be consistent this time around?
 
What makes 2020 so different from 2000, or 2010, or any other time you’ve talked a good game and not delivered on it because as much as seeing people do well is truly heart warming, there is so much hot air and bluster it’s just too tiresome to even pretend to care enough to support people these days.
 
I’m sure some will read the above and proclaim that people like me are the reason others fail, because obviously we have that much sway over the minds of the many.
 
In my experience change happens for these two reason:
 
– People become too uncomfortable to take anymore
– Heartbreak
 
Rarely do people change for positive reasons.
 
Sad as it is, many don’t change because they’re comfortable or happy, they do it because life has finally become too shit for them to stay in the place they’re in and it’s no longer giving them even and ounce of what they want anymore.
 
So my dear 6 readers, if I even have 6 😂
 
Why will 2020 be any different from all the year before it?
 
Please do leave your thoughts and motivations below.
 
Enjoy,
Ross

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A New Challenger Appears

Next year I offer a basic challenge.
 
There are two parts though, the first is all about trust.
 
To give yourself over to the process can be hard, while the rewards are often to be found at the place where X marks the spot, we must get there first.
 
Knowing the destination help the journey.
 
This being better health, mental fortitude, increased lean body mass and much more.
 
Technical as this is ^^ it doesn’t really mean anything to a lot of people.
 
Thus this is the real destination –
 
‘Feeling comfortable & confident in your own self, it’s the first step to being happier.’
 
This can translate to looking at yourself without even the notion of grabbing your problem area like you repeatedly do currently.
 
Mentally being abel to smile with inside and out because you can have pride in the life changes you make.
 
Gaining strength to shrug off comments and let them wash over you because you’ll no longer give people the power to make you feel bad as you realise only you can allow people to hurt you with words or put you down.
 
While people may try (and they will), you can let them and simply refuse the permission they seek to have you accept their words and feel bad, remember that they’re trying to give you their negative feelings and all their own self doubt.
 
Instead of accepting it, understand they’re hurting and let them say their piece, offer kindness back, seek not their approval, seek your own.
 
Apologies, I’m rambling again.
 
Here’s the preview for those astute enough to check here.
 
Part 1 – Building Neurological Strength
 
– Choose 5 lifts/movements
– Each session 5 total sets of 5 are performed*
– You lift 5 days per week
– Always leave the gym feeling fresh, strong
– 20 session is the commitment, strength is the outcome
 
The purpose of this is to have you become more ‘wired’ and create stronger circuits so that you can go from 0-60 fast.
 
*By 5 total sets that means 1 working set of 5 reps per lift.
 
^^ Yes, only 1×5, no ramping lifts, you simply load up and lift for a set of five reps.
 
While you can play with the loading as you see fit the idea is to gain effortless strength and because you’ve only got one set you’d had better make it count.
 
This is a tactic I’ve used with people who compete in various sports or have hobbies that need strength yet also require them to accumulate as little fatigue as possible as not to negatively affect their hobby/sport/life.
 
You may also find that the above seem scary.
 
Almost like it isn’t enough to make real progress on, thus the emption to do more will creep in, you just resist this call.
 
Now you may be wondering about how to load the above, where are you meant to start?
 
There are two ways you can know what weights to use.
 
1 – in the first week of Jan test the fist movements/lifts you pick, work up to a ‘sorta max’ (gym max that has crips form), from this you’d be looking to effortless lift 40-60% of this for 5 with a little prep as possible.
 
^^ Like in real life we don’t always get to have a full RAMP to a heavy load, the higher your base strength and neurological firing ability becomes the more it will serve you.
 
2 – Use an RM calculator, then take 40-60% from the estimated 1RM.
 
Here would be my choices – Barbell Only
 
– Deadlift (double overhand)
– Power Clean
– Press (overhead)
– Front Squat
– Ab Rollout
 
^^You can pick whatever you want literally anything.
 
Personally I won’t use any extensive warm ups for the above and here is why….
 
The exercise order.
 
A deadlift is a basic human movement, while not the most technically complex it will serve to potentiate (RAMP) the body for the rest.
 
While one set of five may not seem like much, it’s enough.
 
Thinking about increasing your weights slowly and without struggle is the goal, this means not grinding or missed reps.
 
As well as forging stronger neurological pathways (strength-skill, lifting skill), you will also learn to listen to your body, to auto-regulate (also known as cybernetic periodisation in older writing).
 
Knowing when to push, when to back off and more importantly how to let go of your ego.
 
The above is just 4 weeks of your life, not take a leap faith?
 
Part 2, that lasts longer and is far more to most peoples liking, however to get to part two part one is a must.
 
Will you be joining me on January 6th 2020 to start the above?
 
If yes, great, if not that’s cool too.
 
Enjoy,
Ross

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3 Program Tweaks for 2020

What you will find below may frighten many of you.

The simple tweaks for programming are based around doing more with less and getting the most out of your training.

Be warned though, for this to work you will have to give yourself to the process fully.

You ready?

1 – Train Monday – Friday – Wednesday.

^^ You read that right, Monday/Friday one week and then Wednesday the next.

2 – Utilise RM Goals

For the above I would suggest the following:

> Ramp Warm Up (main lift/s) 6-10×1 – add load each set to a head daily single
> Pick 2 Main Lifts for a *36 total rep goal
> Secondary/Accessory lifts **50 total rep goal

*6x6RM working sets, yep, that means you use your 6RM for 6 sets. You won’t hit this first time around, you might get 6-5-5-3-3-2, then the next session you use that same weight which might be 6-6-5-4-3-3, keep going until you hit 6×6, then change the movement variation

**You have 2-4 sets to hit your 50 rep target depending on your preference.

3 – Roll a Pair of Dice Daily

This is for a little bit of fun, you roll a pair of dice and get either 2 or 12, this is the minutes you’d be working for. You could skip, hit a bar, perform loaded carries, swings, shuttle runs, bear crawls, movement or whatever, however this is optional.

Try to make 2020 a year where you don’t live in the gym, however when you are in there you put your effort in.

Here is an example protocol to get you started in January:

W/U – Ramp 6×1: Press
A1 – Press 6x6RM Target
Re-Ramp 3-6×1: DL
B1 – DL 6x6RM Target
C1 – Dips x50 rep target
C2 – Chin Up x50 rep target
C/D – Stretching for problem areas

Daily Dice Roll – Rotate these three movements – Sprints, Pistol Squats, Loaded Carry (any awkward heavy object).

Why not make 2020 the year of being different, you never know, doing less you might just gain more than you ever have before.

Enjoy,
Ross

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An old forgotten post from the drafts – New Year Pitfalls

Morning Guys,

With the new year in full swing there will be some common pitfalls ready to ensnare young hopefuls, to help you understand what they are and how to avoid them to the best of your abilities we will cover the 4 most common.
1 – Too Much Too Soon.
You’ve spent the best part of 2015 living on convenience foods and building forts on the sofa, but 2016 is where that will all change. In the first week of the new year there will be the familiar sight of hoards of newbies hitting the gym EVERYDAY, going hell for leather and literally pushing themselves to the point of feeling sick, just short of collapsing. It’s okay though, it’s meant to be like this, right?
After doing this for a week, maybe two a gym virgin will be utterly ruined. Walking normally will be a distant dream, sitting on the toilet will be like harder than climbing Everest, you get the idea.
Starting down the path of self improvement is great and I fully support those who want to make a change, what you need to remember is that doing too much won’t get you results faster. It will however leave you sore, frustrated and demotivated, all of which can cause a person to quite their endeavor and we don’t want that.
My advice for gym new comers would be to join a couple of classes 2-3 per week will be sufficient to get you progressing, enjoy your workouts and also making some new friends too. If you can afford it hire a trainer/coach as they will be able to teach you a lot of the things you need to know, not to mention correct exercise form.
Don’t rush, take your time and avoid doing too much too soon.
2 – No Patience.
Everyone wants to get results, the biggest issue is the fact that everyone wants their results by yesterday. This is a major problem. Results take time to achieve, occasionally a very long time and this can be frustrating for people.
In the modern world of health/fitness there are some unrealistic expectations of what is achievable, this is largely down to rampant PED (performance enhancing drugs) use and a reluctance to accept that the people many often admire have been training for a great number of years – 10+ in most cases.
Is it possible to lose 30lbs of fat in 12 weeks? Yes, however it would require extreme focus and dedication and sadly a lot of people don’t have that. This means you will be realistically looking at more like 24 weeks to achieve that goal, this for some people is too long to wait.
Results take time, learn some patience and don’t give up when you don’t have abs or are a size 8 after only one week in the gym.
3 – Your Nutrition is Wrong.
A simple subject made complex. Here is the basics of nutrition:
To gain weight – Eat more calories than you burn.
To lose weight – Eat less calories than you burn.
Simple right? So that being the case why do so many people struggle? The answer is obvious really… You are either eating too much or not enough. Seriously, for the majority of people that is the honest truth.
Okay, now for the slightly more interesting part.
Establishing how many calories to eat. There are literally hundreds of formulas/websites on the internet that will give you a rough estimate, with one of the best being the Harris-Benedict formula (I’m not writing this one down as it’s rather long and complicated). If you’re looking for a quick guide way to establish your potential daily calorie needs then use this *equation:
Weight Loss – Weight in Lbs (ideally your LBM-Lean body mass, meaning what portion of you isn’t fat) multiplied by 11-13. So, LBM in Lbs x 11-13 = calories for weight loss.

Weight Gain – LBM in Lbs x 17-19 = Calories for weight (muscle gain).

*Disclaimer – this is a rough guide, if you want a more accurate number hire a trainer/coach to do all of this for you.
The next part from here will be establishing your Macro-nutrient ratios (protein/carbs/fat) Ideally this is based off of your LBM. There are a specific amount of calories in each macro-nutrient:
Protein – 4cals per gram
Carbohydrate – 4cals per gram
Fat – 9 Calories per gram
Grams of Protein = 1xLBM – of you weigh 150lbs of lean mass then you need 150g of protein.
Grams of Carbs = 1xGrams of Protein – 1×150=150g carbs (25-40g of this number should be fiber).
Grams of Fat = Add the calories from protein/carbs together then take it away from your established number of daily calories. What ever number that is divide it by 9 for your grams of fat, for example: 900cals remaining / 9 = 100g fat for the day.
In recent times you will hear people say that your choice of food doesn’t matter. Yep, you read that right. Provided you hit your macros/calories you can eat what ever you want, in theory… Would I personally advise this? No. Personally I would prefer people eat mostly whole foods (meat/veg, basically what is considered adult food, not sweets, cakes and convenience foods) this is for better for overall in health in my experience. True you will find people who throw science/theory at your proving it doesn’t matter but if I’ve learnt one thing it’s that everything works in theory but that’s about it.
The real secret to nutrition is to enjoy what you eat, don’t restrict yourself but don’t gorge either. Aim for the classic 80/20 split of whole foods to indulgence, hit your calories/macros and you will find you don’t go far wrong.
4 – You Don’t Put in Enough Effort (Mentally).
I am not going to sugar coat this fact.
The main pitfall that leads to people giving up is their mind is weak. The difference between fantasy and reality is purely desire, well, most of the time in the things we can control anyway.
Try to remember that you are in charge of your life. You control your actions, no one made you eat that cake, you wanted to eat it. Is that a bad thing? Hell no! If you want some cake then have some, just don’t eat the entire cake and feel guilty or blame someone else for eating it. So what if you were at a child’s birthday party? You didn’t have to eat it, you wanted to eat it. Accept your decisions and move one swiftly from the bad ones.
Everyone has the potential to achieve their goals, what most people lack is the patience, dedication and mental fortitude to keep going when it gets tough. There is no quick fix, the only way to get lasting results is to make a life long change. Remember that.
Have faith in yourself, I know you can do it.
Enjoy,
Ross

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2018, almost done & dusted

The time is now.

Better start gearing up for some change, me thinks.

Looking back over your own personal 2018, what can you see?

– What was achieved
– How much progress got made
– Were any lessons learned
– Did it go as well as you’d hoped
– Are there mistakes you’d wish you’d avoided

Arbitrary questions, yet ones worth answering nevertheless.

I’d like you to share your notable thoughts of this year, along with any proof to go with it because while I will smile and give a nod to the words people say, as you know by now I only believe what I see, simply due to the internets room for creative adaptation.

Personally my year has been pretty standard because I’m boring like that.

The lifting has been steady as has my physique, yet nothing has really moved forwards.

One thing that has gained some traction is my growing love for that little thing called JiuJitsu, Rob, George & the young Steve can attest to this, in fact Rob might even have some epic fuck-ups on video 😂

All in all I’ve begun to drift away from being quite so dogmatic about my own training as there is just far more to be learned, while it was nice having a purely lifting based focus for a few years there was only so far I could take it, sad yet true.

To know when you’re beaten, so to speak, it’s something that both makes you smile and understand just where you stand int he grand scheme of things.

What do I mean by that?

I worked diligently to hit 210kg in the squat, that was 3xBW, and it was hard graft, I did some PL meets and do you know what, there were people at my weight and a couple of KG heavier that were opening with that.

Yep, my all time best was there opener, you’ve got to laugh about it, or cry, either is good.

Apart from the difference in strength there was also one other thing they all had that I didn’t.

No, it wasn’t genetics because some had far worse proportions than me for PL.

It was intent, heart if you will.

They wanted it, to them this was their everything and they’d do whatever it took to keep climbing that mountain, this is where I drew the line because I knew I just didn’t care enough.

The same thing happened with WL, I saw just, exactly where Is stood in the grand scheme of things and at best I was an average hobbyist, a valuable lesson to learn.

I could make a lot of logical and even rational excuses to protect my ego and other such things, however the truth is this, I wasn’t good enough and just didn’t have what it took to move past the point I was at.

I didn’t care enough, as such I enjoyed talking about it far more than actually doing it, I’m sure there are a few of you like that in here, it’s okay though, you don’t need to put your hands up or anything, just know you’re not alone.

The time is now, to be thankful for what we’ve learned.

As such my advise to anyone who hasn’t yet set a goal for 2019 would be this; pick a goal that means something to you, don’t follow a trend or what everyone else tells you to follow, pick something that means something to you otherwise it doesn’t matter, not really.

Arbitrary goals are just that when they have no real meaning to them.

So, what do you have in mid for next year?

I have another reflective post read for tomorrow which is unlike my normal, it will make sense when I pop it up, however until then I’d love it if you’d share your answers to the points above.

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How to make 2019 your year, no seriously this is how you WILL do what you haven’t for the last several.

2019 is fast approaching.
 
How will you make it your best year yet?
 
3 ideas that will lead to success in Fitness, Love & Life.
 
Morning all,
 
These sorts of posts will be rife unsocial media soon, so I felt I’d add in my two pennies worth as well.
 
One common pattern I’ve noticed is that almost everyone who saying things like –
 
“Next year is going to be my year.”
 
Only then to epically fail at making the year any different from previous ones all have this in common.
 
They don’t do anything differently, like nothing.
 
How can you expect change or a different results if you continue to perform the same things?
 
Now it might just be me who thinks this way, however that seems rather illogical, as such here is my views that you can choose to apply for change.
 
The tropes of “next year will be mine”
 
1 – Achieving a better body, no more XXL pants for me.
 
The reason internet guru’s and quick fix programs are still round is because people majorly suck at this part of the ‘best year yet’.
 
Why do they suck?
 
Many dislike the discomfort they have to endure to achieve anything notable, while I’d like to say you can make epic change without it, I can’t because it’s not true.
 
If this sounds like you then here is the answer you need.
 
Hire a trainer, a real one you can see face to face.
 
Before you say you don’t have the money, I’m sure you do, write down everything you spend on an average week and make note of what you don’t need, then chop it.
 
This is doubly true for things you WANT but don’t need because those funds can go towards a far better cause.
 
The money you invest in a good trainer will be worth it.
 
I can promise you that.
 
2 – I won’t let anymore deadbeats play with my heart.
 
Bahahahahahha, yea we both know that’s wishful thinking because you will go for the same type of person you always do, simply because they’re your type, obviously.
 
We get caught in this loop because of familiarity.
 
Deep in our subconscious we meet people we’ve met before, all because we know the subtle traits, which lets us to seek them out, and because they’re familiar we feel comfortable with them.
 
I bet you’re guilty of saying things like this “It’s like we’ve known each other for years, yet we only just met.” or the classic “We click, there’s a spark.”
 
Dear god pleas run.
 
Head for the hills immediately because this is only going to end one way, and you know it.
 
So, give the above how do you prevent this?
 
Go to places you’ve never been, step outside of your comfort zone, your circle of friends and venture out to make new circles and new friends.
 
If you go to the same places, do the same things you’ll always meet the sam people, trust me.
 
To find something you never knew you were looking for you need to go to places you’d never normally go, it is here you give yourself the chance to be happy by taking a leap of faith in to situations/places that you don’t know.
 
Go on, step outside your box and see the rest of the world, you never know who you might meet doing so.
 
Also, you might be better off on your own for a bit, another person might not give you what you think you need, if what you need is to be happy with who you are, in every aspect and element of ‘you’.
 
Sometimes moving forwards isn’t about doing it with someone else, sometimes it’s about knowing you’ll be alright doing it for yourself.
 
Better to be alone and be happy in yourself than to be with someone unhappily and change who you are for them because you can’t stomach the thought of not having someone in your life.
 
3 – I’m will do more things for me, time to be strong.
 
Admittedly this is more for those of you that are people pleasers.
 
You know who you are, basically door mats, mugs, that person everyone knows won’t object to anything asked of them because they fear being called a ‘bad friend’ or seen as ‘selfish’ and so on.
 
Don’t get me wrong, doing kind things and giving to other people is what makes life fulfilling, however there is a difference between doing this out of choice and some misplaced sense of obligation.
 
I’ve know a lot of people over they years who pride themselves on being that person people go to anything they need help, and bess them they’re too naive to see that their ‘friends’ are simply using them as a mean to and end.
 
Worst of all is that many who fall in to this description know this is the truth.
 
You know it too, don’t you….
 
Having some self-worth, some value in your time and not giving it away willy nilly to anyone who will abuse your generosity doesn’t make you a bad person, if anything it will derive more respect from people in the long run.
 
To stop being so scared of upsetting the world and it’s dog will be the first step to setting you free fro being everyones bitch.
 
Might sound harsh, however I’ve seen too many a good friend get drowned in this and not be abel to get themselves out, even with help.
 
The same thing happens in marriages too, so beware.
 
So apart from having more self-wroth and internal value, what else can you do?
 
Here is the biggest, and the hardest part of becoming free of this trope.
 
You ready?
 
Learning to say no, and actually mean it.
 
Your time is precious, you only have so much of it and by all means give it to people who appreciate it, who you truly care for, however don’t waste it being a dogsbody.
 
You’re a person too after all, you deserve as much respect and time as you give to others, never forget that.
 
There you have it, some things to consider for 2019.
 
If you have any questions please leave them below.
 
Enjoy,
Ross

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