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Frustrations

While chatting to a client last night the goal was to listen o their frustrations. 

The didn’t feel for the effort they put in (to all aspects of their life) that they were getting their just desserts.

“My training is consistent.”

“My nutrition has been varied and clarions tracked.”

“My work has improved in both productivity and efficiency.”

“My life couldn’t be at a better point, and yet I’m not where I want to be, it’s so frustrating! I just start to think things will never change and just don’t know what the point is in keeping it all up.”

“I know things take time, I just want some hint it’s going to be worth it.”

A truly heartfelt frustration.

Often the effort we put into a great many things doesn’t yield the results we’d perhaps desire.

While this might not be fair it just is what it is. 

I have friends who dislike that quote ‘it is what is is’, potentially because of it being the attitude of people who have become resigned to the deterministic philosophy due to their life experience in always knocking them down or the undeserving getting that which they feel should have been theirs. 

It’s an understandable annoyance, yet these are also the same people that won’t outwardly express what is it hey want, or vocalise what is perhaps needed to be said to the right people,  they often just sit and wait in the hope that they will get recognised just because they feel they should. 

Sadly in this life if you want something you have to not only want it, work for it, or go for it, you must also make it known you want it by asking for it. 

Fortune favours the bold or brave (depending now his quote you prefer). 

It’s quite true. You’d be surprised what you can actually get simply by asking for it. 

Anyway, back to the frustrated client above. 

I was quite honest in telling them I didn’t know why they where not where they wanted to be or showered with glories praise, from an emotional standpoint that is. 

From a training/empirical standpoint it’s been 3 weeks into their current training after they spent 5months being inconsistent and basically pissing about and making poor choices. 

Yes I did tell them that directly because pandering isn’t what they needed and the simple truth is that you won’t often see much change in 3weeks, maybe 3 months or 3 years, however not 3 weeks. If you had dramatic change in such a short space of time, like say losing 2 stone I’d advise you go to the the doctor as you may have a terminal illness, yet this is the result people feel they deserve.

This was what prompted me to re-ask “What result/expectations do you feel you should have by now and why?, No, really, why? Why do you have the expectations you do?”.

Now for something a little bigger to consider, especially if you’ve felt/feel this way…..

Why out of all the people on this planet do you feel your the only one with these frustrations?

Why are you so special that the process should be different or miraculous?

Is it because you know someone who knows someone or you say it on social media?

Very few things in this life happen by accident. They are often an accumulation of minor, or major choices we’ve made or didn’t make and eventually they all come to fruition and result in X, Y or Z,which may or may not be your desired outcome.

As with any endeavour, even those that are truly frustrating, you must just accept that they will take time and perhaps be a tad more realistic with your expectations.

Frustration affects us all, yet like a lot of things they’re fleeting and not worth dwelling on.

Take a look around you, see that most other people are in the same boat and enjoy the journey because it’s rarely the destination that makes it worth while, it’s often the experiences you pick up along the way. 

Enjoy, 

Ross

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Setting Up to Fail

“Is getting results really as hard as you’re making out or are you just setting up your excuses for failure because you don’t want to do what needs to be done and make a lifestyle change?”

A good quote. Sadly it is very true and a lot of people will make their excuses before any real effort has been put in so that when they fail they have valid reasons as to why it wasn’t their fault. Now don’t get me wrong, there are times where people do find themselves pushing a boulder up hill, here are a few:

  • Genuine Medical/Genetic/Debilitating conditions
  • Severe injury from an accident or illness
  • Life falls apart because your significant other runs off with their receptionist while simultaneously clearing out your bank accounts, while you also become jobless, homeless and living with hyenas

Apart form those reasons the reason typically is people don’t want to make the changes they need to make, along with having the wrong attitude. Harsh but true.

If you want results that will last follow these simple tips:

  • Change your mindset
  • Accept life will change (for the better)
  • Be consistent

Change is never easy but you’ll often find it’s necessary.

Enjoy, Ross.

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Mostly Misconception

Time for the last 9 tips covering Training, Nutrition and Mindset and these will be revolving around some of the most common misconceptions I’ve been witness to over the years.
 
Training first.
 
1 – Lifting weights makes you bulky.
 
This one is more common amongst the ladies in the gym. They find themselves scared of venturing in to the free weights area because as we all know you lift weights once and immediately become Arnold Schwarzenegger… If only it was that easy.
 
It is true that lifting weights will help you build some lean muscle, however what is not true is that you will pile on slabs of it in a short period of time. Building muscle takes time.
 
The benefits for lifting weights far outweigh the reasons against. They will not only help improve your overall lean muscle mass and body composition but also increase your basal metabolic rate meaning you burn more calories at least (meaning you can eat more food), sounds like a winner to me.
 
2 – You MUST do XYZ for specific results.
 
There is nothing and no rules that are set in stone when it comes to lifting weights they’re more like guidelines. Depending on your overall goal you can get there via several different pathways, there will just be common themes of success that work for the majority of people.
 
For example:
 
Strength: 5-15 sets of 1-6 reps per exercise.
Hypertrophy: 3-12 sets of 7-12 reps per exercise.
Hypertrophy/Endurance: 1-9 sets of 13-20 reps per exercise.
 
These can translate in to some common programs:
 
Strength: 5×5 (any variation)
Hypertrophy: 3×10 – Delorme & Watkins
Hypertrophy/Endurance: PHA Training
 
Now those are not gospel, they are just examples that work, you will need to look in the what you want to achieve specifically first before you can really start deciding sets/reps. There are many ways tot he top of the mountain but the view is always the same.
 
3 – You should feel destroyed after every session.
 
A very common thought that was birthed by the theory of “Some is good, that means more is better and even more must be even better still!” this is not true, there is such a thing as doing too much and it will send you backwards.
 
When you have a session in the gym you can leave feeling suitably worked but still in once piece, just because you’re stupidly sore and broken doesn’t mean you’re working out properly. You can be very sore after a car crash but it’s not any good for you.
 
Chase performance not fatigue.
 
Now on to the minefield that is Nutrition.
 
1 – You can’t eat XYZ.
 
If we are completely honest there is not food you can’t eat, however you want to ask yourself is it the most sensible or optimal food choice for your given goal.
 
Lets say your goal is to add 12lbs of fat. I would say that a tub of ice cream a day plus 6 cakes and at least 3 packets of biscuits would then indeed be a good choice for you. However… if your goal is to look good naked then perhaps you might want to rethink your tactics.
 
The main thing to remember is to hit your desired/required calories & macros for the day, if you do this then you should “in theory” still achieve your goal. I say in theory because I personally have never seen anyone do this without having most of their nutritional intake from whole foods (meat veg, rice, etc) and only having the occasional indulgence.
 
If you feel that you can achieve the body of a physique athlete by eating literally anything that isn’t usually eaten by people who achieve that kind of result then I say good luck to you, I certainly know I couldn’t do it.
 
Remember, just because you can it doesn’t mean you should.
 
2 – XYZ is bad for you.
 
Fat is BAD for you.
Carbs are BAD for you.
Protein is BAD for you.
 
Apparently everything is bad for you, unless you’re particularly high and mighty, thus meaning you’re exempt from this rule.
 
Protein, Fat and Carbs are not bad for you. Guess why… Your body needs them to balance hormonally, build new cells/tissues and generally move about and survive. You will find just as many studies proving that read meat will kills you as you will that carbs are the path to an early grave. The key concept to remember is that everything is bad for you if you have too much of it, however if you hit your required calories/macros then chances are you won’t drop down dead from eating any one of these three substances.
 
Context is everything.
 
3 – Nutrition is the hard part.
 
Actually nutrition is pretty easy, what is hard however is the adherence and lifestyle change. People want to make excuses and do what they want. While everyone has the right to do as they please they need to remember that everything we do has a price. If you spend your life eating highly refined foods then the probability of you having some form of dietary related illness increases, simple really.
 
Never deny yourself anything, just don’t go overboard on it either.
 
Finally we have arrived at the last and most important misconceptions that need clearing up, Mindset.
 
1 – You can’t do it.
 
This is rubbish… Complete and utter twaddle speak says I.
 
This is merely a mindset that you have made to help protect your ego when you don’t quite get what you want first time around. Over the years there are very few things I have seen that people can’t achieve if they really put their mind to it.
 
Have faith in yourself, I know you can do it, all you need it to believe that yourself and you will already be half way there.
 
2 – I have poor genetics.
 
While genetics do play a part in how far you can ultimately go, there are plenty of people in the world who have achieved some amazing things despite their limitations.
 
Your genetics don’t hold you back, your mind does. Stop making excuses and start making an effort and you’ll see that your genetics aren’t that bad after all.
 
3 – F.E.A.R
 
False, Evidence, Appearing, Real.
 
We are all scared of failing and cocking things up, but guess what… It happens. The more you hold yourself back the more opportunities will pass you by and then you’ll look back on your life and think “If only I had…” life is filled with ‘what if’s’ and ‘if only’ but that is not because of any Devine lan or intervention, it’s because you didn’t want to step out of your comfort zone.
 
You can either life or you can exist, the choice is yours so choose wisely.
 
That brings us to the end of this little series, I hope you have learned some simple perspectives and knowledge you can use in a practical way. Now go out and give it all you’ve got, after all, we’re only here once so we might as well give it our all.
 
Enjoy,
Ross
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