Tag Archives: harsh reality
“It gets harder as you get older.”
Well yes, but actually no.
This is something I’ve heard no less than a dozen times since January the 1st, and from people in their 30’s.
Okay, your 30, not dead and the reason you’ve gained fat, lost muscle and feel shit about yourself is because you allowed it to happen because life got comfortable.
Yep, it’s all on you, the universe or other cosmic entity just went with the choices you decide to make.
Age, like having kids or some phantom/elf diagnosed medical condition, is the perfect excuse for people to hide behind because to question it will have you almost burned at the steak.
In full candour, life it simply hard there are very few breaks given and the struggle is real.
In this knowledge you have two real choices:
1 – Do the best you can with what you’ve been given 2 – Hide behind excuses like everyone else
There isn’t much more to it really.
Yes barriers, unfortunate events and general shit will crop up, that is inevitable however it’s how you choose to deal with it that counts.
Excuse or effort, it’s your call.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m far from free of the above because so many excuses have come from my lips, so well thought out that I almost even convinced myself of their validity and who they truly stopped me moving forwards.
This of course was all bullshit, they were just excuses that gave me a reason to give up and not feel too bad about it when the truth of the matter was so much simpler.
It wasn’t important enough to me.
That is literally what it comes down to, and in addition to that I learned from a very young age that telling people this, that things or they didn’t matter went down like a lead ballon. So I started making excuses that would protect everyone and give me an out.
All bullshit really and as I got older and less worried about the world and the people in it I found my attitude evolved into what it is now –
‘I will tell you the truth regardless, you can choose to response or react because I’m done.’
Excuses come in may shapes and sizes, as do our legitimate barriers/obstacles.
There is one crucial difference between them though, a barrier/obstacle will have options to overcome it and still slow you to move forwards, even if slowly, essentially they simply slow you down and will eventually no longer be an issue/consideration.
An excuse on the other hand will be there forever because you’re allowing it to be there because you’ve created it and to remove it will involve you being 100% honest with yourself in the fact that you put it there to sabotage yourself and give you a reason to fail, quite, give up and stay weak or helpless.
Excuse or effort, your choice.
If it really means something to you then you’ll find a way, like life.
Life will always find a way to keep growing, you should too.
Consistency is troublesome for many people.
The idea of having to repeat something again and again and agin just doesn’t take well.
Given we’re two days away from reigning in a new year it’ll be time for all the –
“2018 broke me, 2019 taught me, 2020, let’s do this!”
Such heroic nonsense.
In the words of Conner McGregor – “You’ll do nothin”
If it take the 1st of January for you to pull your finger out I’m not afraid to say that my friend you’ve all ready failed.
You see if you see a reason to become better and change your life, well you’d find it.
Regardless of that reason you’d find it because you want to.
So many need things to start on a Monday, the 1st of a month, after and event or whatever, it’s just not worth it, given how many millions fail what makes you think you’ll be any different?
True many other millions succeed, yet no one ever asks them about what made the succeeded, they merely admire from afar or write in envy.
Question for you, why will you be consistent this time around?
What makes 2020 so different from 2000, or 2010, or any other time you’ve talked a good game and not delivered on it because as much as seeing people do well is truly heart warming, there is so much hot air and bluster it’s just too tiresome to even pretend to care enough to support people these days.
I’m sure some will read the above and proclaim that people like me are the reason others fail, because obviously we have that much sway over the minds of the many.
In my experience change happens for these two reason:
– People become too uncomfortable to take anymore
Rarely do people change for positive reasons.
Sad as it is, many don’t change because they’re comfortable or happy, they do it because life has finally become too shit for them to stay in the place they’re in and it’s no longer giving them even and ounce of what they want anymore.
So my dear 6 readers, if I even have 6 😂
Why will 2020 be any different from all the year before it?
Please do leave your thoughts and motivations below.
As silly as it seems, a lot of people won’t ask and for stupid reasons as well.
It is important to seek out others to support you.
Of course there are more than 3 reasons, however these are the most relevant.
1 – You can’t do it alone
Might seem obvious, yet so many will try and be a one-man band and tackle it all, then they wonder why everything is on mediocre at best.
The whole idea of you being a combination of the 5 people closest to you, its kinda like really true.
Give it some thought.
2 – Skill Gaps
As people we want to think we have all the skills we need, and this is sadly not the case for the majority of us, we need people we respect and trust at our side to fill in our gaps.
Take the PT business for example.
New people to the fray just about know how to train people, just about. In regards to business most have no clue on the following – Marketing, Taxes, Business Planning/Budget Management, the list can do on.
Yet even potentially knowing this they won’t seek out some guidance, often using money as the excuse, yes excuse because that is what you have business loans for to help you get your business up and running by hiring the people you NEED to help you succeed.
Many won’t, how do I know this?
I know more people who failed to stay in the business than actually stayed, and I see more people dropping out every day.
Ask for help, it will be worth it.
If your skill gaps are in say the knowledge of fat loss and that is your goal, then please hire one of the aforementioned PT’s.
3 – Being too scared to ask
This one is the easiest to understand.
People don’t want to seem weak, or like they can’t do something, I get it, it’s painful to admit you can’t do something and it makes you feel bad about yourself, however that is a mindset you’ve learned, you weren’t born with it.
Do you think a child feels bad when it’s learning to walk and keeps falling over?
No, it just keep doing what it needs to, and when it can’t do it alone it gets helps, either form a parent or something close enough to grab on to.
We are taught that asking for help is a bad thing from our earliest days in school.
Think about it, teachers would not give you the answer, they’d want to you find it for yourself, and while this is an incredibly useful skill it planted a seed that this is how we should do everything, and that is just not true.
In the working world if you don’t know something you must ask for help, less you completely balls up a project that could not only cost the company millions, it may also cost you your job.
Yet in knowing this we still fear asking for help.
To some the feel as if asking will put them below other people, they’d be someone to pity, subject to their benefactors benevolence, and whatever else you want to say.
This might be true, however once you’ve gotten the knowledge, or the skills and you know how to move forwards you many not need that specific person every again, however you do need what they know.
They weren’t wrong when they said that knowledge is power, because it is.
Better to ask a question and be thought a fool for a mere moment than stay silent and be branded foolish for life.
Give the above some thought and share your personal reasons below as to why you don’t, won’t ask of help.
We live in a world where shifting the blame is common place, no one wants to take responsibility for anything, least of all their own health.
“Fast food companies & sugary drinks are to blame.”
“Saturated fats are to blame.”
“Carbs are to blame.”
No, you’re to blame.
Not companies, not individual foods, not work stress, no your kids, YOU.
The problem is you and your choices.
If we look at things logically we can discern why people crave certain foods from a deficiencies standpoint, we can even see the seeking of sugary to increase serotonin levels and other such things, however the way we deal with our needs is down to no one but ourselves.
People are gluttonous, greedy and selfish when it comes to doing what they want and when the guilt sets in they find excuses rather than dealing with any potential negative mental associates/coping mechanisms they’ve created.
It needs to stop.
The great many need to understand that when all is said and done the buck stops with them. They hold all the control of their own choices, no one can really force them to make one, not really.
Look at nutrition, it’s all on you.
Reflection is something everyone should practice because taking the time to sit and look back over ourselves and our choices can provide clarity, if we let it, or we could bury our heads in the sand, your choice.
Give it some thought.
2017, the year of the revolution you made in 2014…
How many new years resolutions have you made the you’ve actually stuck to?
Two, maybe three?
Perhaps you’re one of the few who has hit every single one each year. If so, good work, you’re a rare breed and deserve all the success – Honestly, I mean that, Im not being sarcastic.
Back to the point of this post.
The problem I see with the good old NYR is that people think they need a specific date of time to make a change or create a goal. Personally I feel the new year is the worst time to do it and I shall tell you why… It’s because people are going to give up and fail, so this means that when you also give up you’re not the only one, saving a part of your ego and it means you can get away with stopping judgement free because it’s not just you who stopped.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s not nice to see people give up but it happens because it’s easier than the alternative (sticking at something through al the hard times to come).
It might sound harsh but it’s the truth. We all know that plenty of people will start a NYR and not hit it, thus taking the pressure off, but for those who stick to it people will start to say things like:
“I wish I could have stuck to mine but work got in the way” – No, you got lazy and didn’t prioritise.
“They’ve gt it easy, they don’t have ZXY stopping them or getting in the way.” – How do you know? They might have more to potentially hold them back, they just stuck at it because they had heart and wanted success more than you.
Get the picture?
If you have a goal or resolution why wait until the new year to action it? DO IT NOW!
You don’t need permission or a special date to start, you just need to do it and stick with it, it’s that simple. If you find it hard on your own and get stuck or need help then ask for it, people will help you, we like helping each other, you don’t have to do it alone if you don’t want to. Surround yourself with people to help you succeed.
So tell me, on a scale of ‘I will do what I need to do to succeed’ to ‘I will give up at the first sign of hardship or opportunity to give up’ where will you be?