Daily Archives: August 12, 2019

Permission Required?

Are you still asking for permission to live?
 
This may seem like an odd question, however, you’d be amazed at how many people consistently seek approval, validation or for lack of a better word, permission, to do just about anything.
 
Relating this to fitness, as a coach you’ll hear the following:
 
– Is it okay to eat XYZ?
– Does this sound right?
– If I do X can I have Y?
 
There’s a lot more where these came from as well.
 
All of them relate to people seeking the nod of approval before doing something.
 
This has two big impacts on people.
 
1 – It shifts accountability away from them on to you.
2 – It allows procrastination.
 
Looking at point 1.
 
If someone asks you for permission regarding an action or food choice they’re putting their accountability back on you because if something goes wrong or doesn’t work they’ll come straight back with – “But you said….”.
 
^^ This is something you’ll find everywhere.
 
A person will blame any and everything else before looking in the mirror and realising the blame/fault lies with them (the majority of the time, there are exceptions).
 
In regards to point 2, it gives people an excuse for inaction.
 
You see it in the working environment.
 
Boss – “Why hasn’t XYZ been done?”
Worker – “Because you didn’t ask me to do it”
 
*facepalm.
 
Long gone are the days of initiative and it’s understandable why it’s because in the past when people have tried to take the initiative they may have been told off for doing so.
 
Often it stems from childhood as well.
 
A parent (often your Mother) will ask you to do something and if you do it’s never to their standards, to which they delightfully say – “I should have done it myself.” – Or something similar.
 
Same goes for you doing something off your own back.
 
You may get a “Well done, but I wouldn’t have done it like that.”.
 
All in all, chipping away at your confidence to do things for yourself, this relates to many aspects of life.
 
You’re damned if you do and you’re damned if you don’t.
 
Thus the constant need for permission is born for a sense of protection.
 
Understanding where it all stems from is the first step.
 
After this, you can make your own choices moving forward, or maybe you can’t, I guess that’s up to you to decide.
 
Give the above some thought.
 
Enjoy,
Ross
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